A life of love

A life of love
Everyone should have a Great Pyrenees

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Should you share or not, and what is friendship?

I am a very confused state and not feeling well on top of it, so I am sure not what to do.

We tend to be pretty upbeat, downplaying the struggles we go through, so unless someone asks or tries to know us well, hopefully they don't know the issues we may be dealing with. You know, the old, "keep moving, do what needs to be done, be helpful, protect others, don't gripe, and no one wants to really know what is going on". The intent is always to not add to others burdens and to complain certainly does, and the issues we deal with really are ours to deal with. But what do you do when that stack just crashes down on you and you cannot hide it - no one has seen all that you have been dealing with, so totally misread your reaction. And you cannot explain. It looks like what tipped the scales was unreasonable, but it was just that last thing on top of everything else. And of course, then they react and you just cannot explain.

How do you deal with this? This has been a long couple years in our lives, dealing with things we never ever thought we would have to deal with, trying to be diplomatic, honest, quiet and caring. Lots of good and bad, not all ours, but some. And wanting to be there for others too. So, what do you do when it all crashes? When you have just been overdone and it looks like that last thing was the issue, rather than all that went before. It's like that water torture thing - the slow drips of water on the forehead that eventually send you over the edge even though it is just a drip of water. It isn't that last drip, it is all that went before, it just tipped on that last drip.

I want to handle things in an honest, compassionate, Christian way, but what do you do when you have nothing left? It becomes impossible to explain.

Okay, now before anyone worries, the kids are fine, hubby and I are fine. This has been the most intense few years of our lives. We seem to spend all of our time reaching out, but when you need it, it comes back empty. And that hurts.

So, what is a Christian way to respond? Do you stuff it and just go on? Do you try to explain? Do you separate from the issues? Do you work through the relationships (not kids and hubby, just to be clear)? What do you do? Friendships get extraordinarily sticky when we go through intense times in life. Are they worth it? Is it always one sided? I just don't know. My human side wants to strike out after being so broken and misrepresented. That isn't what God has called us to do. But what do we do? Is friendship something that is important? I don't know anymore. It used to be I would say "absolutely" and my first question was "what can I do?". But.... I guess I am at a time when I need something back too, and it just isn't there. So, what do you do? Just step away? That is all I can see to do at this point. Just don't know.


Anna said...

Sweet Christy;
What you wrote, ""keep moving, do what needs to be done, be helpful, protect others, don't gripe, and no one wants to really know what is going on" Sounds an awful lot like The Golden Rule you know.

And your next paragraph is the straw and the camels back.
That said, it is the reason that I blog. When I first began I thought to sugarcoat the 'iffy' things in my life. But that doesn't work for long. So I made the decision years ago to write down and to share exactly what is going on at any point in time.
And that I have done, time and time again.

Your real friends will be there for you always. Nobody else counts.

Share. Share. Share.
And it WILL come back.
I promise.


Christy O said...

Thanks so much.