Sawzall anyone?

I have no idea if I spelled that correctly and just simply didn't feel like looking it up. Oh, well, it is early.

The next project, along with continuing the fencing, is getting that wall down to make the boys' dormitory. It should go easily, but as we all know with renovations, that doesn't mean a thing. The fencing is about 1/3 up - small incident yesterday put things a bit behind schedule, plus the discovery that the ground is layers - a nice topsoil, with gravel down a foot or so, and then another foot or so down it is sand - just like beach sand!!! Huh. I don't think part of it has ever been farmed, it is down in a meadow area, but there is just no way to know at this point. Interesting to wonder how it all ended up that way - wondering if all the land around here has this makeup?

We are trying to keep the momentum going, so I am looking to borrow or rent a sawzall, though likely in reality, unless I think I can handle it myself, it will have to wait until next weekend. Hubby and eldest son will be having every free moment tied up from Sunday until July 16th with the Music Man production at St. Norbert's University. I am so pleased for them, we all will attend at some point during the week long run and are looking forward to it! And then comes the fair, and then camp, and then soccer tournaments - oooh, I just cannot think that far out anymore, it makes my head spin.

Wonder how a sawzall works? Think I can manage it on my own? Hmmmm.

Update

Hi,
I am taking a moment to update, in between putting in new fencing with the family, washing dishes and laundry, and generally doing a ton of stuff. We had both taken the day off in order to go to a visit with several other families, but at the very last minute it got cancelled. No way to get back on the schedule for work at that point, so it was a surprise day off. And boy are we putting it to use!!!

As you saw from the last post, things have really changed. We have not been able to get any more medical information, but our concerns have really gotten things going. The children will have a court date next week, but we don't know when - I suspect they are squeezing it in. Then the agency is going to be rushing things, getting a "medical evac" so we can get the kids home rapidly. It could be very fast, possibly as soon as two weeks from court date - a huge, huge, huge difference from the travel dates at the end of September that we had been expecting!!! Terrible to NEED this to happen like this, but wonderful that it CAN.

So, the current status is that there are a flurry of things going on - many emails and contacts with the adoption agency, getting an adoption bond, clarifying where things need to do with the state, talking to the travel agency, calling our medical specialists for the two kids that need them, and trying to stay calm and rational in the midst of all the unknown - and July is our busiest month with Steve and Alex being in The Music Man that runs July 9 to 16, the kids at county fair the week of July 19 and then three kids going to camp the last week of July (if we can still afford it by then), and soccer tournaments the first weekend in August. And now possibly Steve travelling to Ethiopia to bring the kids home.

The wall is not yet down in between the two rooms that are being made into the "boys dormitory".

The new bunkbeds are not here yet.

We will be having to figure out how to reserve tickets without having the cash in hand as we still have to get that from where it is parked, and praying that it can come rapidly.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

Both the neurology clinic and the endocrinology clinic have been alerted to our situation. The hardest thing to get them to understand is that we have NO information like they are used to, and we still won't have it when we get back. As soon as we have travel dates we will schedule appointments for those kids at their respective clinics so we can get good medical care started.

We have talked to the travel agency and our costs are going to be in the ballpark of $5600, though we are going to certainly get more precise prices once we know when we need to actually really travel. We know that we will have an adoption reimbursement from an employer that will more than cover that, but given how rapidly this is happening, it is unknown if we can access that as soon as we might need in order to reserve tickets.

Please pray! If you know anyone who might want to help, please let them know our situation. I know it is all temporary, but it is what it is.

Things are looking good for getting things moved along quickly and possibly even have the kids home yet this month, though everything is variable. So, we are praying for health for the kids and for things to move as God wills. I know by next week we will know more and just see how this shakes out.
Thanks!

Please pray!

You all know that we are awaiting a court date on the three children in Ethiopia - well we got an update on the boys today, and the older boy, who lives with diabetes (as does Kiley) is having trouble medically. His labs were not normal and indicate that his diabetes is not in good control at all. We are panicked as that means that he could be at high risk for a diabetic crisis in short order. We are begging the adoption agency to move things quickly, to beg for early court dates and early visa dates. At this point we are looking at a court date possibly the third week in July and then travel likely ten weeks after that - this is simply too long given his medical condition!!!! If you could send up prayers for A and for the quick movement on this entire issue, I would be so appreciative.

The way we handle these things and the way things are handled there are very different. I am absolutely terrified as I look at all the numbers, they are not good. This can have an impact on A not only today, but the consequences for the rest of his life are significant. Complications from diabetes are the long term issues, I am personally afraid of the more short term threats medically. I so would appreciate any prayers and support. Tonight I am terrified. I know what it is to live with this, we do it day and day out, but to not be able to make things better, it is horrible..... I know we serve a big God, a huge God who can protect A from everything and keep all the kids safe. I know that, but this mama is scared and I cannot do a thing to help him. I look at our medical cabinet full of what I know he needs and there is nothing I can do. I could send things, but would they use it, would they know how to use it???? It is all so different.

So, thanks for listening, I hope to have updates soon - the adoption agency is on it intensely as I was a bit forthright about the medical situation and the potentials. They have promised to get me more information tomorrow and work hard to move things on. I know that they will, they have been amazing. But we are now stuck in bureaucracy between two countries and the entire process. Will they look at this particular child and his particular needs? I don't know.

On the upside - I took the kids strawberry picking tonight and we filled six ice cream buckets! A long night later and we have lots of jam and five gallon bags of fresh frozen strawberries. What a crew! We had so much fun, made such a mess, ate so many strawberries! It was great! And they want to do it again!!! Well ,the last jars are cooling (1:30 AM) and I am heading to bed - I sen the last of the kids to bed at midnight. Amazing what we can all get done, but I am just done in!

Thank you so much, and for the opportunity to vent about our current situation. Thank you for any prayers and support!

Tom Davis is at it again!

I love Tom Davis's work. He has written Red Letters and Fields of the Fatherless, to name two off the top of my head. Now he has also written a novel. I am in the middle of birthing goats (literally, we are watching one in the process of labor - so much for my plans to settle down and write comfortably tonight) so I am going to be not very creative, but get the info out.

Author and activist Tom Davis has released Scared: A Novel on the Edge of the World. It tells a true-to-life story of West-meets-global south; a compelling and all-too-likely scenario of orphan children in Swaziland and across the African continent, with a tantalizingly-possible (and hope-filled) conclusion. It’s a page-turner, and the perfect summer read.

Scared’s copyright is secure, but Davis and his publisher, David C. Cook, are tapping into the viral spirit of In His Steps: from now until July 10, you may download an full-length copy of Scared, free of charge, if you share the free download news with three friends.

[Your three friends will get a one-time email inviting them to also download & share; their email addresses are not stored and they will not receive further communication if they do not download the book. ]

I am so excited to read this book, I have been waiting to get it until funds weren't tied up in the adoption, but now it is on my computer! I do plan on buying one or more as soon as I can - I own several copies of his other books and hand them out regularly (if you want to borrow one, I certainly have them!). I subscribe to Tom's blog and he is constantly doing things around the world that really challenge us all to see how we can step up to the plate and be a part of changing things.

In addition to being a terrific read, Davis’s nonprofit, Children’s HopeChest, is raising $1 million to support educational projects in Swaziland. They are also running a contest for Swazi orphans! The grand prize? A university scholarship. Your purchase will help this effort.

But first – give Scared a free read and tell your friends! You can do both right here. And if you’d like, you can also spread the word on Facebook via Scared’s just-minted Fan page.

So, check it out. Who can turn down a free book from a proven author, and you never know where it might take you! And we can all go out and support what Children's HopeChest does. I always end up wishing I could do more. I don't think that feeling ever ends.

Anyway, I promised to pull on my boots, change into true farm clothes, and get back out there. In all honesty, it could be HOURS! But the kids are insistent - this is one of our oldest goats, it was not a planned breeding (bucks broke down the wall between stalls in the winter), and of course none of us want anything to go wrong. At least I am not working tomorrow! It is always an adventure. Hopefully all goes well and I will have photos of the new baby/babies to put up tomorrow.

In the blink of an eye...

Long night at our house last night, and parts really shook me to my core. There are all sorts of attitudes and thoughts that you just carry with you throughout life, carried over from childhood and life experiences, that you often just don't really take time to think about.

Last night one of my worst fears felt like it was coming true.

I got a phone call from the stage manager of the musical that my husband is in rehearsal for. She was calling because Steve was in severe pain and I needed to get there to him as he could not drive. He had been fine all day, I had talked to him at 5:30 and he was getting ready to leave the house for rehearsal.

We live 30 minutes away from where he was. It was 10PM and I had only at 9:30 gotten the kids to bed. What was I going to do?

And I found that panic set in. I got to speak to my shining knight briefly and in all the years I have known him, through many injuries, I have never heard him in so much pain and so panicked. I knew it was bad. And I was too far away.

Now, you have to step aside for some past history here.

Currently I am 39 years old. For another month.

My mother was widowed at 38, when I was 12.

My grandmother raised her children alone and was widowed when my mom was 11, so grandma was also likely in her 30s.

My great grandmother raised her children in alone, in a day when that just wasn't done.

So, I have seen or heard of three direct generations of women in my family raising their children alone. I have seen the effects of death in the family.

My dad was 44 when he died. Both my brother and I discuss that we have the feeling that there is much to do, because somewhere deep inside us, if we make it past 44 we will then be living on borrowed time.

I have always had it in my heart that the year my husband is 44 will be a very difficult one for me.

My oldest daughter is 12, the same age I was when my dad died.

So, given that, the phone call last night threw me into all sorts of deep seated reactions based on not only the moment, but also all that internal past history.

All I could think was that I had to get to him, to see him. They were waiting for me. I had urged them to call the ambulance if they needed to, not to wait, just to call me on my cell and I would meet him at the hospital. I had to go, I had to get there NOW and not get arrested in the process.

I called the kids down, intending to let them know, and settle them down. Yeah, fat chance. In our typical family style, if something is happening with one of us, the rest need to be there. Now, Steve had taken the big van, because I was running late at work. So I just had our little car. And five kids. Oh, well, get shoes on and get in the car. In my heart I feared the worst and having them where I could talk to them and not leave them alone was just fine.

I think that was the fastest trip ever. On the country roads I know that I did WAY over the speed limit - no tractors out at night, so I could go faster! We beat the ambulance to the hospital - the stage manager had called within ten minutes of the first call letting me know that they had called the rescue squad. She sounded about as shook up as I was. Steve couldn't even talk to me at that point anymore.

Something about abdominal pain, came on suddenly.

Now you have to understand, I have seen my husband through knee surgery, lots of injuries, and even tangling with the lawn mower and losing part of a finger (the most painful injury to that date). Panic ensued in my heart.

As we drove I tried to pray, but no words would come beyond "please". It ran through my head that I could lose him, that it could be something awful, that I could be widowed that night. I would raise the five kids alone. Would I be able to complete the adoption on the kids that are waiting on us? Would we all be stranded without our rock? How would I do all this? How would I tell my kids that their dad died? (I vividly remember my mom telling me at my junior high school the day my dad died. I have always been amazed at her strength, could I do the same?) Lots of random visceral panic and no way to check on things. It was a long drive and a very short drive.

And then to be there before the ambulance was a surprise. I paced and paced. The kids have been to this emergency room several times so were perfectly comfortable changing the TV channel, getting hot chocolate and knew where the bathroom was.

We kept an eye out for the ambulance coming in. It did finally come in, without lights and not rushing, so hopefully a good sign. Then they had to roll him in and didn't want me back there right away - I just about threw a fit about that, but decided that in reality it was very reasonable to give them about three minutes before I went back. Thankfully that is only how long they asked me to wait.

They did ask that the kids not go back (not enough room back there for one thing) - I had not planned on that at that point. I had prepped the kids that I would go back and when I knew something I would come out and tell them. First of all, I didn't want them to see him and be scared, especially as I knew that I needed to face whatever was happening, deal with it a little myself, before I worked the kids through it.

I have never seen my husband in so much pain, ever. The doctor initially was fairly sure that it was a kidney stone - but Steve has had two before and they were nothing like this. I just wanted to make them run! They did give him tons of pain meds that helped, but then he drifted off to sleep and his sleep apnea set in!!! I wanted him to rest, to not be in pain, but had to keep poking him to keep him breathing! Scared me to death. They did testing, scans and what not.

Long waits. Silence, and a very nice nurse, who it turns out lives less than two miles away from us - I have to send her a thank you note!

Turns out it is a kidney stone - not horrible like a burst appendix or aneurysm or all those other awful things I was thinking of. Tons of pain meds, meds to help with the passing, and otherwise a clean bill of health, and we took a very loopy husband home.

I have not been so scared in a long time. Ugh.

Talk about facing your fears. I think I need to work through all this a bit more. My way of dealing with things is to plan out contingencies. What if... If I have a plan, I know that I can get through, even though likely I won't do the particular plan I have in mind. It gives me some comfort.

I know that I got my degree exactly because I watched my mom raise us alone and I always wanted the security that I could care for myself and my family if I was alone. I didn't want to raise my kids by waitressing and trying to get by, not if I had another choice. I have kept working to some degree, even while being a stay at home mom, so I am always prepared to do whatever might need to be done. I do know that my mom did a smart thing by not remarrying until my brother and I were grown - it is something that I would do as I would want to keep my focus on the kids in my care and not be distracted a bit as they would have lots to deal with if we were to be left without their father. I know that we both have life insurance to hope to allow whichever of us might be left to raise the kids as we have always planned to do it. It isn't huge, but it would be enough to give us some options or at least some time.

I don't think I want to think any further about what it might be like, because hopefully and prayerfully this will never be something we will need to address.

But I have to admit, I will be a bit relieved when Steve gets to 45 and then when I do. Superstitious I know, but there it is.

I know that God is in control, I know that he sees the entire plan and tapestry, and that he loves my husband, myself and our children more than he can imagine.

And I am thankful that what appeared last night to be terrifying turned out to be something that will "pass" if you will ignore the pun. At one point, before the pain meds kicked in, wonderful hubby said "if this is what childbirth is like, honey, I am so sorry". Have to admit that somewhere deep inside I had a satisfied smirk waiting to come out when it was safe to do so! LOL! Funny, I would do it again in a heart beat too. How crazy is that - maybe it is good that only women can give birth - what is that saying? That if men gave birth, families would only have one child? LOL. Not to minimize what he went through - it did look like the pain I remember at active labor - but at least in labor, the contractions came and went, kidney stones, it is constant with no relief without HUGE narcotics.

So, now I have a very large sleeping giant, but that is good. I am trying to keep the water going into him, the pain meds to stay on top of things and slowly getting tired kids up. We are praying for a quiet day and for the process to finish.

Wouldn't you know, one of the worries of the night last night was that if this was something he needed surgery for, he would then be out of the musical, and opening night is just three weeks away, and Steve plays not a small role. Dumb thing that we both thought of in the middle of crisis. But, it looks like he should be in good shape shortly and I will be researching kidney stones and visiting health food stores and whatever I can think of to keep him from going through this again. If anyone has any suggestions I will gladly listen!!!

I better call that poor stage manager and let her know how things are. She sounded very upset last night. I know what it was like for me, they all watched it happen and him go from fine to WAY NOT FINE. Thankfully there actually WAS a doctor there at the time. Praise God!

Praise God that last night is done too.

Now I guess I have my issues to work through.

Aren't they all our children?

Found this on a blog that I follow - one of the many. Puts some things into words. I hope that everyone that can reach out to another person - child, teenager, adult, elderly person will do so. It takes parents to raise a child, but we all live in this world and have the ability to send ripples into the pond of our portion of the world.

There are few things in this life more difficult to experience than the loss of one's child. Jim Wallis tells about a sad and terrifying incident that occurred during the tragic war in Sarajevo not too many years back.

A reporter who was covering the violence in the middle of the city saw a little girl fatally shot by a sniper.

The reporter threw down his pad and pencil and rushed to the aid of a man who was now holding the child. He helped them both into his car and sped off to a hospital.

"Hurry, my friend," the man urged, "my child is still alive."

A moment or two later he pleaded, "Hurry, my friend, my child is still breathing."

A little later he said, "Hurry, my friend, my child is still warm."

When they got to the hospital, the young girl was gone.

"This is a terrible task for me," the distraught man said to the reporter. "I must go tell her father that his child is dead. He will be heartbroken."

The reporter was amazed. He looked at the grieving man and said, "I thought she was YOUR child."

The man replied, "No, but aren't they all our children?"

I think that is one of the great questions of our age.

Aren't they all our children?

It is a question that deserves an answer.

Aren't they all our children?

Those who live under our roof and those who reside with another family?
Those to whom we are related as well as those whom we have never known?

Aren't they all our children?

Those on our side of the border as well as those on the other side?
Those of our nation no more or less than those of another?

Aren't they all our children?

Those who worship like us and those who worship differently? Those who look like us and those who do not?

Aren't they all our children?

The well-educated and the under-educated?
The well-fed and the under-fed?
Those who are secure and those who are at risk?

Aren't they all our children?

The highly valued and highly esteemed as well as the castaways and the lost?

Aren't they all our children?

Aren't they all our responsibility?

ALL of them?
Ours to nurture?
Ours to protect?
Ours to love?

I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that the survival of our world hinges on the answer to that question.

To say they are NOT all our children is to condemn the world to more struggle
– family against family,
- group against group,
- nation against nation.

Aren't they all our children?

If we say yes, can we ever again pit them against each other?

"If we have no peace," said Mother Teresa, "it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

Aren't they all our children?

There may be no greater question for our generation.

And how we answer that question will determine the shape of our world for years to come.

10 honest things about me...

I was tagged by a friend from her blog to do this and it sounded like fun - I will be tagging a couple other blogs too! Thank you Lori at Common Sense Homesteading!

I was nominated for a 10 Honest Things About Me Award! What fun! Never tried this before. Thank you Lori from Common Sense Homesteading for nominating me!

So, here goes:


10 Honest Things About Yourself:

1) I cannot decide if I feel most like myself with short hair or with long hair. So, I seem to go from one extreme to another - which seems to benefit the wig makers for folks with cancer, one benefit of me not being able to decide.

2) I have too many interests to get done in this lifetime. I know it, I just generally won't admit it. Oh, well, sleep is optional, isn't it?

3) I rarely can fall asleep at night unless I have a book in my hand. I have to read to settle my brain down, or just to distract it long enough so sleep can sneak up on it!

4) I want to exercise daily, but quite often end up deciding that whatever housework I did must count as exercise. Not very helpful, but I am trying - so far I am up to real exercise twice a week. An improvement but not great.

5) I don't sit still well. It usually makes me crazy. A boyfriend in college tried to teach me to meditate, insisting that it would be good for me and lower my stress, but it just REALLY stressed me out. I did much better puttering around.

6) My kids call my enormous white van "The Monster", and as I look at all the pinpoints of rust from flying rocks, I think when I work on those I will make it a giant dot-to-dot art project. Colorful handprints would make it look like a daycare bus (and enough people in public already think we are a daycare or a school or a club or something - nope folks, just a family), and I know that I am not up for an entire paint job on my van that hauls kids, groceries, soccer stuff, goats and chickens, animal feed and whatever else fits in it.

7) I played rugby for two years in college. My mom says it was to get out some anger after my divorce (bet you didn't know that either! I was married at 18 and divorced right after my 20th birthday. Drugs just didn't fit with my marriage plans. Lots of regrets, but mostly that I didn't pay attention ahead of time!!!). I think that it taught me a lot of inner strength and gave me some pretty strong role models my age, that I really needed at that point in time. I loved it, I was the "hook" because I was generally the smallest one on my team. After two years and only two injuries that I had to recuperate from, I decided that it was time to hang up my cleats and avoid surgery or permanent issues.

8) I can never say something briefly. I don't know if this has to do with all my training and work as a speech therapist, or if it is innate. Probably both. People hate the messages I leave on answering machines. I just can't keep it short. As you can tell by now.

9) Someday I would love to be a published author. That, of course, would require getting to work at it much more than I am at this point in my life.

10) I can draw fairly well, and love to sketch. My kids were blown away when I began to teach them, they had no idea I could do that. Shows how much I have had a chance to do it! Since the oldest is 14, that also tells you it has been a long time. But it sure is fun - it is almost my favorite homeschooling class because I get to do it too!

Okay, that was ten! Now, Okay! Here are my seven blogging friends that I picked to give this Award to:

PJ Academy
gbmom2407
His Hands - His Feet
Anne's Adventures
mycharmingkids
Owlhaven
Chickens in the Road


Here are the Rules of the award
1. Thank the one that gave it to you.
2. list 10 honest things about yourself.
3. Give to 7 other blogger friends.
4. Place the picture at the top of your post.

I look forward to reading everyone's lists!
Christy