A life of love

A life of love
Everyone should have a Great Pyrenees

Friday, April 21, 2017

Never stop learning!!!

There are adventures on the homestead, as always.  I have come to realize that this is part of life, and no matter how I try to control it to keep it "just perfect", that this is not part of the plan.

Spring has sprung in Wisconsin, which means MUD!  Yesterday we got a ton of rain, and the horse pastures are deeply mudded in their favorite spots.  Sigh.  We roll our round bales out into the pastures, so we watch the weather report to know when conditions are going to allow us to do that.  We rolled fresh bales right before the rain came, and we are very glad we did, as it is complete MUCK by the gates now.  It is cold again, though 40's and 50's isn't bad for WI.  I'm grateful that we aren't seeing snowflakes!

I am so anxious to start getting into my gardens.  We have expanded my herb garden, and the fences are going up as soon as weather and soil allow.  My blue potatoes from Heirloom Solutions (http://www.heirloomsolutions.com) have arrived and as soon as the garden dries just a little I can get them safely in the ground!  I hope for a good crop.  I also have tons of seedlings on my kitchen counters, taking in the lovely southern exposure, but completely taking over the area.  I am putting in a couple cold frames and hopefully will start to get those moved outside soon.  My winter sowing areas are not quite awakening yet, but I think that should be pretty soon, and I have quite a few plants to start in my winter sowing areas.  To top it off, we are picking up five willow saplings this weekend, to plant down in our wet areas in our pastures.  The plan is that the horses will have shade from the trees as they get bigger.  The area isn't used by the horses, as it is a strip with deep wet, almost a marshy type area.  But the areas they do use will be eventually shaded by the trees, which is good as their pastures are bare of trees at this point.

I have all my dehydrators stored carefully and will be glad to get my herbs drying when they mature.  At this point, almost all are still sleeping or awaiting planting.  I did see that my garlic is coming up, and so are the chives, so I know that spring is coming.  I plan to use garlic scapes in my low-carb cooking for added flavor, which thankfully will also encourage the garlic cloves to grow much larger.  I did see the catnip coming up, and the motherwort.  I have way too much motherwort as it grows wild here, so I am trying to thin that down a little.  That is certainly going to be a battle.  On the upside on another wildcrafting herb out here, the lamb's ear is coming up as well, and since those leaves are better when harvested young, I will be getting out and taking some of that and getting those inside to dry.  I have quite the collection of glass jars to store my dried herbs so my pantry can be well stocked.  The dandelions haven't shown up yet, but that will be the next wildcrafting experience.  I am arguing with myself about making dandelion wine again, as it is a great deal of work, but it is so hard to think about letting a harvest go to waste.  I want to be sure to leave some for the bees, but making dandelion jelly is certainly worthwhile as well!

Our nights are still cold, and the rainy spring days keep us inside more than we would like.  Rainy days are good days for working on the henhouse spring cleaning, as at least that is under shelter, but there is only so much that can be done in there.  So, in addition to all the continuous remodeling on our 130-year-old farmhouse, we have started a new hobby - ceramics!  Honestly, I have always been inspired as my grandmother was a hugely skilled artisan in ceramics.  Hubby and I started going to an area ceramics studio this winter, basically to get out of the house and do something new.  And it has become quite a passion!  We love the creativity, and all the many options available, as well as that there is SO much to learn!  We were just recently blessed with a kiln and some supplies from a dear friend who used to have her own ceramics business.  The more we delve into it, the more we find!  It has been so much fun to work alongside each other, consider all the options, and experiment.  We have so much to learn!  I ran the kiln for the first time this week and it was so exciting.  The hard part was waiting for everything to cool overnight so we could open the kiln and see how things turned out!  It was great!  Now we are experimenting with glazes on the bisque we fired and the wait is now to have enough ready to fire!!!  I will share photos as we get more done.

Here is the nutshell.  Keep learning, keep active.  There are so many interesting things in life, so many different varieties of nearly everything in life.  I know I have a lot of eclectic interests and tend to jump from one to another, but it keeps my mind active.  And a lot of it makes its way into my writing work.  Whether in an article for a client, in my own books, in the ideas that I have stored away for future works, or just into my own blog posts, all experiences come to light.  Whatever catches your interest, go investigate it.  I am going to a Herbs 101 class at an apothecary shop this weekend as well, to expand my knowledge as I get my herb garden into full growth (we were given fencing from friends who took down a pool several years ago, and I have dreamed of using it to make my own enclosed herb garden.  Well, we are putting it all in now, and the garden will be 12 feet by 24 feet, so HUGE!!!!).  When something catches your interest, don't hesitate to jump in a little, take a second look.  The more I learn about something, the more I discover there is to learn!  I think it adds quite the spice to life and hopefully, will keep my heart young!

God bless to all.  Enjoy each and every season!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Friday, February 10, 2017

I'm back!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Life is a journey.  Full of ups and downs.  Some journeys through dark places and then some light places.  As always, this blog is about my life, whether anyone but me reads it or not.

Today, today I am a writer.

I have surrendered to this.  It has chased me nearly my entire life.  Hounded me, pestered me, haunted me.

I have a book on Amazon now.

I do freelance writing for clients now.  Regularly.

And I curl up and try to share what is inside my head in my own works.

It is scary.  Who really wants to lay their soul bare and let it be scrutinized?  But there is beauty there.  There is also ugliness.  There is also lessons learned, or to be learned.  Joys to share fears to uncover and release their power.

I want to encourage anyone out there to go for your dreams.  I spent so many years with my soul tied up in a wasteland because I was scared.  I settled for jobs that ate my soul.  They may have helped to pay the bills, but they ate me alive.  Inside, there was so much wanting to come out and it was shriveling up and dying.

Look in your soul.  What brings you joy?  What is your passion?  What are your values?

These are the things you need to cultivate.  Don't shut your soul away any longer.  You can do it.  If you don't strive for it, you will wither away from who you truly were created by God to be.

Balance yourself.  You can do it.  God does not want you to go through life without being who He really designed you to be.  Not that prosperity is involved, this is not prosperity gospel stuff.  But God has given you gifts, your own gifts.  Your own bents.  He created YOU, with all your unique qualities, to be YOU.  He only made one of you.  He made you on purpose.  Yes, there are basic responsibilities we all have, basic bills and what not.  You have to find a balance.  But you have to pursue who God has created you to be.

I don't know if the steps I have taken recently were out of desperation or a giant leap of faith.  But I sure took a leap.  I'm going to lay it on the line.  This is a journey, a part of my journey.  I' very certain that there are many bumps in the journey.  I am certain that it will not be without challenges, and right now, the challenges can seem insurmountable.  But, but this time, I am throwing all I have into it.  I have dreamt of this place in life.  My homestead, my computer, pens and paper and pouring my soul and imagination out.  It has pursued me for so long.

Please, step up to who you are created to be.  Look at what God has created within you, you are a beloved child, you are a unique and wonderful creation.  Embrace that.  Search it out.  Be you.  There is only one you, and you are needed.  Just as you are.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

HAPPY New Year!!!!!

Happy New Year.

It is.

I am happy.

In the midst of what should be the darkest, it isn't the darkest, because there is a lot going on and a lot I have learned and I also am not alone.

And I am thankful.

I have peace.  Real peace.  It has been hard fought.  And some days are much better than others.  But I know WHO I trust in and WHO I thank.  God is good.  On good days, God is good.  On bad days, God is good.  In the night, God is good.  In the day, God is good.  In the storm, God is good.  In the sunshine, God is good.

I could list all the losses and all the pain.  Today I am estranged from most (NOT ALL) of my family.  I am literally sitting in jail.  I don't know what the future will hold (and I am someone who always wants a plan).  I don't know if we will be able to save our home.

God is there.  He has given me the greatest treasure in my husband, a treasure I may not deserve, but I will spend the rest of my life working to be sure he knows that I am very blessed to be walking through life with him.  I have peace in my heart, for the first time in a long time.  I have a lot to learn in walking that road, but I am also letting go of what does not bring me peace.  I am learning to walk in that peace.  I know that God loves me, that He has forgiven me, I know that His grace and mercy is new every day.  I know that in each day, in each circumstance, there is something to be grateful.  I can honestly say - I am learning this and at times learning it the hard way, but seeing it better and better each day.  I know that I will never be perfect and it is time to stop striving for that, holding myself to a standard that cannot be accomplished.  God created me, He knows the flaws I carry, and HE can USE those flaws.  I never understood that.  I know He knows that He and I are always working on me, but even so, HE is able to use those flaws for His good.  I have learned to trust in that.  That alone is a scary thing.  I know that He does have plans for us, and if we will allow Him, He will work with us.  I will forever be the clay, under construction, flawed.  But, I am still breathing, which means I still have life and purpose.  I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who does.  I will rest in that, and remember to enjoy every second He gives me in every circumstance He gives me.  I hope to shine His light in my very imperfect life, to reflect glimmers of Him in my brokenness.  It is all a mystery to me, but it is a Holy Mystery - this life.  I am saved, I am a daughter of the High King.  And each person I meet and interact with is also a Child of the King, whether they know it or not.  They are precious children of the King of Heaven, and we must treat all as such.  We live among princes and princesses of the King, no matter in what guise.

I am thankful for the New Year.  For so much.  For friends, for family, for my greatest love, for productive work, for a warm bed, for days to come.  God is good.  All the time.  No matter where we lay our head tonight.  God's blessings!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Sunday, November 29, 2015

God's hand in darkness...

Hope in Front of Me

Even in the midst, even when I don't believe, You are there and holding me.  In the storm, You are there.  When I feel all is lost, when I am so bereft, so angry, so hopeless, You are still holding me and secure on Your throne.

Broken Hallelujah
Much of the time, I wonder if I have anything left of value for my King, for His Kingdom, any gifts to give.  But even in my desperate brokeness, He loves me.  As Job said, "I will not curse God".  I won't.  I will praise Him, even in my fear and pain, and try to hold onto that He will use even this disaster for HIS GLORY.  I will admit to holding on my threads at times, to not even being sure that I am still holding on, but praying for Him to hold me when I cannot.

With Every Act of Love
Could I ask for prayers for a woman I have met, who is struggling to find a way in her life, a faith and hope in her broken life, freedom from addiction and fear and depression.  Soon she will be out of the confining spaces that give her the boundaries to work through her demons, and will need to do it on her own.  She has a new faith, and is trying so hard.  Pray for a strong faith support, a church family, and accepting people to help her walk this long road of recovery.  We are reading the Bible each day, encouraging each other to keep at it, discussing bits and pieces.  In so many ways, I am so inadequate to speak God's word into her heart, she has faced things that make me feel like a complete naive woman.  So much I know nothing about (and really don't want to, thank the Lord), how do I speak hope to that pain?  Please pray for her. 

Wait for a Miracle

Danny Gokey's testimony
I listened to this and just sobbed.  He spoke so clearly and completely about coming through his darkness, and I can so relate.  I have spent a great deal of time with grief, with railing at God, with wanting to simply die to escape the pain.  To hear it in someone else's voice and words spoke balm and healing.  I agree with letting go, letting go of the toxicity and the need to understand.  He speaks very well on this, and better than I could.  It is hard, oh so hard.  Especially for someone, like him and I, who have grown up in the faith, who have attempted in our very imperfect ways to follow the Lord, with errors and sins, but striving, to let go of what we cannot yet see.  We may never see it this side of  heaven, but I so hope that God can somehow use me for His good at some point.  This is darkness I walk through.  I have come through so far, even when I didn't want to.  God always had someone there to keep me going.  And at times, maybe it was simply the warm fuzzy body of my dog.  But that was also God holding me.  I can clearly say, that I am not out of my valley, and some days despair threatens to overwhelm.  But if all I have is to give God every breath and what little I have to others, then that is what I must do.  Long ago, when I agreed to follow God, and with each challenge turned it over to Him, accepting what sacrifice might be needed to fulfill His will, THIS, in my life, was never even a breath of a thought that crossed my mind.  I promised to go where He sent me.  THIS is most certainly NOT where I wanted to go, or what I thought it might be.  But, I have to trust that somehow this is His Hand, still in control to use all our failings and pain.  I recall Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane asking that if "this cup to pass from me", but with the next breath accepting it if it was God's will.  If even Jesus asked that this hardship be taken from Him, then most certainly we can also.  But in the next breath, to accept God's will.  That is truly the hard part, and we are human and very very fallible.

It is Well With My Soul
This hymn was written after traumatic events in Horatio G. Spafford's life. The first was the 1871 Great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer and had invested significantly in property in the area of Chicago which was decimated by the great fire). His business interests were further hit by the economic downturn of 1873 at which time he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the SS Ville du Havre. In a late change of plan, he sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sea vessel, the Loch Earn, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone . . .". Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write the words to the now famous hymn as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.

Desert Song
This was a song that I was introduced to following our Sammy's death, in the midst of my profound grief and despair, the voices and musical skills of several of my beloveds presented it at a church service.  Out of the fog of that time, that song spoke to me so heavily and became my anthem at that time.  In my pain and confusion, it was a strength, and to have heard it for the first time from those loved ones spoke so profoundly, God truly used them as a balm to my hurting heart.  I find it is also quite appropriate now.  I wish I could keep all this music going around me 24/7 as it is so healing and strengthening, but I am finding that it persists in my mind and heart and I can more easily turn to it for comfort and connection even when I cannot hear it audibly.  Ah, I so wish I had a voice worthy of singing it!!  LOL.  I only do that when I am alone.  Kindness to others and all, ya know?

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Friday, November 27, 2015


You are God Alone 
Always.  Hold on.  Nothing is changed in Him, no matter what we face.  Grip tight to His promises and sink into His word.

Revelation Song

Jesus Calling - hang onto this message.  Jesus is always here.  Through the storms, the trials, the nightmares.  Jesus is always calling, always with us, perhaps simply holding us and weeping with us as we walk this road.  Hold on.

Here with Me Oh, how frank these songwriters are.  Did they look into my world the last few years?

And one of my favorite uplifting fight songs!  A good reminder for us all - not to mention that this version has one of the most amazing riders around, and if you know me well, you know of my deep love for horses. Live Like You Were Dying

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Stone Silo Enterprises

 Okay, so we are trying to put all our endeavors in one place as we work to build multiple streams of income.  We want to use what we have and be good stewards of what we have, as well as to become completely debt free.  So, we have several things we are working on, and needed a place to put it together.  You probably have seen our diabetes log books, and I also recycle feed bags into really useful and strong tote bags, as well as we are working on several Amharic/English items!  So, we decided to do a facebook page for it, so it was easy for us to add things to!

Here ya go!
Stone Silo Enterprises

Check it out!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Monday, November 26, 2012

As we all prepare for the holidays to continue...

I just wanted to quickly share with you a resource I found that I am really enjoying.

At this point in time, in this economy, with so much going on, we are all stretching every dollar as far as possible.  Well, there are actually some really good resources to help you.  I wanted to share one with you.

There are so many ideas and options on this site, that you really need to go explore on your own to find what you are most needing.  We have way modified our cleaning products, making our own laundry soap, and baby wipes and it seems like more and more each day.  That has made a huge dent in out budget, thankfully.  And it has inspired me to keep looking for more ways to be good stewards of what God has blessed us with.  Please feel free to share any ideas and resources you might have, as well as check out this one.  I have to admit, I put lots of things on my facebook page, most often so I have a way to find it again when I have time.

Well, on that note, and from the toddler excitement in the next room, I had better make this a hasty post.  Everyone is well, everyone is full from Thanksgiving and I even had my 25th class reunion which really was fun!  We are in full swing preparing for Christmas and I actually, for once, have a good chunk of my Christmas shopping done!  Not complete, but a good dent.  I am not a fan of shopping and dislike the stores, so tend to avoid it as much as possible.  Plus it is just a little complicated in our life right now.  Our van is still in the shop,  and with various kids in tow, it gets challenging!

God is good, life is good, we have only had less than half an inch of snow so far, and last week we even had a couple days in the 50's, so for Wisconsin, we have nothing to complain about!  LOL!

Enjoy life, live every minute and rest when you can!  Best wishes and hugs to all!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11