Aren't they all our children?

Found this on a blog that I follow - one of the many. Puts some things into words. I hope that everyone that can reach out to another person - child, teenager, adult, elderly person will do so. It takes parents to raise a child, but we all live in this world and have the ability to send ripples into the pond of our portion of the world.

There are few things in this life more difficult to experience than the loss of one's child. Jim Wallis tells about a sad and terrifying incident that occurred during the tragic war in Sarajevo not too many years back.

A reporter who was covering the violence in the middle of the city saw a little girl fatally shot by a sniper.

The reporter threw down his pad and pencil and rushed to the aid of a man who was now holding the child. He helped them both into his car and sped off to a hospital.

"Hurry, my friend," the man urged, "my child is still alive."

A moment or two later he pleaded, "Hurry, my friend, my child is still breathing."

A little later he said, "Hurry, my friend, my child is still warm."

When they got to the hospital, the young girl was gone.

"This is a terrible task for me," the distraught man said to the reporter. "I must go tell her father that his child is dead. He will be heartbroken."

The reporter was amazed. He looked at the grieving man and said, "I thought she was YOUR child."

The man replied, "No, but aren't they all our children?"

I think that is one of the great questions of our age.

Aren't they all our children?

It is a question that deserves an answer.

Aren't they all our children?

Those who live under our roof and those who reside with another family?
Those to whom we are related as well as those whom we have never known?

Aren't they all our children?

Those on our side of the border as well as those on the other side?
Those of our nation no more or less than those of another?

Aren't they all our children?

Those who worship like us and those who worship differently? Those who look like us and those who do not?

Aren't they all our children?

The well-educated and the under-educated?
The well-fed and the under-fed?
Those who are secure and those who are at risk?

Aren't they all our children?

The highly valued and highly esteemed as well as the castaways and the lost?

Aren't they all our children?

Aren't they all our responsibility?

ALL of them?
Ours to nurture?
Ours to protect?
Ours to love?

I don't think it is an exaggeration to say that the survival of our world hinges on the answer to that question.

To say they are NOT all our children is to condemn the world to more struggle
– family against family,
- group against group,
- nation against nation.

Aren't they all our children?

If we say yes, can we ever again pit them against each other?

"If we have no peace," said Mother Teresa, "it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

Aren't they all our children?

There may be no greater question for our generation.

And how we answer that question will determine the shape of our world for years to come.

10 honest things about me...

I was tagged by a friend from her blog to do this and it sounded like fun - I will be tagging a couple other blogs too! Thank you Lori at Common Sense Homesteading!

I was nominated for a 10 Honest Things About Me Award! What fun! Never tried this before. Thank you Lori from Common Sense Homesteading for nominating me!

So, here goes:


10 Honest Things About Yourself:

1) I cannot decide if I feel most like myself with short hair or with long hair. So, I seem to go from one extreme to another - which seems to benefit the wig makers for folks with cancer, one benefit of me not being able to decide.

2) I have too many interests to get done in this lifetime. I know it, I just generally won't admit it. Oh, well, sleep is optional, isn't it?

3) I rarely can fall asleep at night unless I have a book in my hand. I have to read to settle my brain down, or just to distract it long enough so sleep can sneak up on it!

4) I want to exercise daily, but quite often end up deciding that whatever housework I did must count as exercise. Not very helpful, but I am trying - so far I am up to real exercise twice a week. An improvement but not great.

5) I don't sit still well. It usually makes me crazy. A boyfriend in college tried to teach me to meditate, insisting that it would be good for me and lower my stress, but it just REALLY stressed me out. I did much better puttering around.

6) My kids call my enormous white van "The Monster", and as I look at all the pinpoints of rust from flying rocks, I think when I work on those I will make it a giant dot-to-dot art project. Colorful handprints would make it look like a daycare bus (and enough people in public already think we are a daycare or a school or a club or something - nope folks, just a family), and I know that I am not up for an entire paint job on my van that hauls kids, groceries, soccer stuff, goats and chickens, animal feed and whatever else fits in it.

7) I played rugby for two years in college. My mom says it was to get out some anger after my divorce (bet you didn't know that either! I was married at 18 and divorced right after my 20th birthday. Drugs just didn't fit with my marriage plans. Lots of regrets, but mostly that I didn't pay attention ahead of time!!!). I think that it taught me a lot of inner strength and gave me some pretty strong role models my age, that I really needed at that point in time. I loved it, I was the "hook" because I was generally the smallest one on my team. After two years and only two injuries that I had to recuperate from, I decided that it was time to hang up my cleats and avoid surgery or permanent issues.

8) I can never say something briefly. I don't know if this has to do with all my training and work as a speech therapist, or if it is innate. Probably both. People hate the messages I leave on answering machines. I just can't keep it short. As you can tell by now.

9) Someday I would love to be a published author. That, of course, would require getting to work at it much more than I am at this point in my life.

10) I can draw fairly well, and love to sketch. My kids were blown away when I began to teach them, they had no idea I could do that. Shows how much I have had a chance to do it! Since the oldest is 14, that also tells you it has been a long time. But it sure is fun - it is almost my favorite homeschooling class because I get to do it too!

Okay, that was ten! Now, Okay! Here are my seven blogging friends that I picked to give this Award to:

PJ Academy
gbmom2407
His Hands - His Feet
Anne's Adventures
mycharmingkids
Owlhaven
Chickens in the Road


Here are the Rules of the award
1. Thank the one that gave it to you.
2. list 10 honest things about yourself.
3. Give to 7 other blogger friends.
4. Place the picture at the top of your post.

I look forward to reading everyone's lists!
Christy

Quick update - good news!!!!

Hi all!
Hubby called me - he was working from home and the kids got the mail -

Our USCIS (Immigration) approval was in the mail!!!! Remember we went on the 20th to get our fingerprinting done - well that was a fast approval!!!! So, we are cleared to go to court now!!!! That (and $2700) is all that we need!

I get paid on Monday so we hope to make a huge dent in that amount.

If you could pray for our rummage sale this weekend, we would so appreciate it! Everyone worked hard and decluttered and we have lots ready! Please pray first of all that it just goes - it isn't coming back HERE, and second of all, that needed funds are raised! We were blessed with a loan that got us to this point and we are hoping to not use the credit card for the last little bit - but we are going to get the kids to court one way or the other. The blessing would be that we could raise whatever is needed so we can plan for slowing down soon. I will work outside the house until the loan is repaid (maybe one of the grants we applied for might come through?) and then will cut down to very little work outside the house. There certainly is enough work at home for anyone!!! LOL!

But, it is a small price to pay for three lives. A very small price, small inconvenience. Everyone in the family has pitched in to make this possible. Every single person - the kids have been amazing and really understand what we are doing and why. God is so good!

Well, off to finish preparations for the rummage sale! The girls are going to help Grandma with it tomorrow, as I have to be at work, and then we will all be there on Saturday!

Have a blessed day and weekend! Just had to share the good news! Miracles continue to happen. Our agency was dubious that we could get approval before the end of June, and yet here we are! Thank you God for simple blessings like fast paperwork!

When you have achieved a dream....

I was sent the following link and it was really amazing, in many ways.
Walk On

I found it very inspiring in many ways.

First of all, to watch a man who was predicted to be able to do so little, to see him do so much. To see him inspire so many people.

Second of all, to see someone overcome.

And third, to see someone achieve a dream.

At this point in our journey, we are working to achieve our dream. Our dream of a large family, of doing something meaningful with our lives and with our passion for children and family. We aren't there yet. We are $7809 away from achieving what is required to complete that. Much closer than my last posting. And actually, at least $100 closer than that even. Silly to think that such a thing as the paper we call money can mean so much. It is just paper. That is all. But, we are close. We got word today that our dossier is in the hands of the adoption agency in Ethiopia and has been sent on for translation! Once that is done, once we have all the funds, we will be able to apply for a court date. We started this the end of January. I believe January 23rd is the date, but I would have to actually look on the calendar, but that is the date that is stuck in my mind. So that puts it a little more than four months since we made the commitment and began this portion of our life journey. I hadn't really counted it out, it seems like it has been longer. There is the potential that we could have a court date before the end of the month. That would make it five months. And then it would be waiting on an embassy appointment to get visas. That could be five to eight weeks. That could make this complete in seven months only. Only God can do that!

The other point I was left with after watching the video clip I posted, was the reminder that once we achieve the goal, there is a natural feeling of letdown and "what now?" even as we embark on the next stage of the journey. I remember after Zeri and Solly got home, we settled in, got our life established, and then there was almost a letdown. We had worked so hard, and now we were where we had wanted to be. It was almost strange to not be working to get to that point anymore. It was sort of like switching gears. Our work then was the transition, creating a new family. It took a little bit of realizing that our mission had changed, into the dream we had wanted it to be, and that we were now embarked on that work.

As we are working on this journey now, it is with a bit more knowledge. We know that we are working to climb that mountain, but that one day we will get to that top and then live out the dream we had worked so hard for (a job in and of itself). Where will God take us next? I don't know. I know the change in our journey will be completely engaging in and of itself. I know that our lives will change in ways we can only imagine. But I also know that feeling of "wow, we really did it. Now what do we do?". Not like there won't be enough to do with eight kids in the house!!!

So, my thought provoking question to pose out there is: what do you do when you have achieved what you set out to do, done the nearly impossible, or what once seemed impossible? I know my experience is that there is a time of emotional let down, a time of intense emotions, a time of re-evaluating life and goals. What do you do once you have done what you set out to do? I see lots of people setting goals and working to achieve them, and then trying to figure out what to do next once they have gotten there. When someone finally gets to retirement. When the long awaited baby is born. When you are married. When you complete your degree. When you get your first house. When you finally get well/beat cancer/etc.

My personality is that I need something to be working on. Of course, I tend to try to do too many things. I like to do lots and lots. And I am better able to limit things than I used to be able to, but I also am willing to sacrifice or prioritize to get done really important things. To take on more than I normally would in order to achieve something. That is where I am right now. But I also know that once all the fees are paid, I am going to cut down. And when I do, I will be faced with that same feeling. "I got it done, now what?" Even though I will be busy with all those things I so long to do now - get my house in better order, keep up with laundry, wash dishes more often, do those housekeeping things that have gone by the wayside, as well as just enjoy being with my kids again more like I am used to. I so look forward to all those daily things that right now I am not there for. But I also know that there will be a bit of a "now what?" kind of feeling - even though I will be preparing for the arrival of three more children, prepping for more homeschooling and all of that. It is hard to shift gears, and takes adjustment. But that is life.

Maybe is this why we all leave some dreams alone? Because what if we achieved them? What then? I have to admit that I have a particular dream that several people in my life really encourage me to pursue and I have a hard time doing it. Not because I cannot, not entirely because of fear, but as much because of "what if I did do it?". What do you do when you have accomplished what you always dreamed of? I just want to encourage some thought processes. I don't know where I am going with this, just that it really struck me tonight. I have seen our family do more than we ever dreamed could be done. I am continually amazed with the blessings and with God's provision far beyond what we could imagine. God gives us dreams for a purpose and will provide for all that He has designed for us if we can walk in His path. His path may not be what we thought it was, but it is always good, though it may not feel good at the time. I have to tell you, right now, this path doesn't feel so good. But this one, I can see the purpose and the reward and know that the temporary discomfort will pass and the goal will exist.

I think I have emptied my tired brain. I hope it made some sort of sense to someone beyond me. Go for your dream!!!! And then dream up another one!!!! And keep going!!!!!

Love ya!

Home life, domestic vs. international - our choices.

Hi all,

Life is good, busy and rocking along. We are in the groove of decluttering, spring cleaning, looking towards maybe starting painting in rooms of the house that have not been repainted in many, many years.

You have to know, when we bought our dilapidated farmhouse (it sure was then), the entire upstairs needed a LOT of work - and that is where the children's rooms are, so it was a HUGE priority. We put a TON of work into that, and now all that is left is cosmetic stuff in the schoolroom, and then taking down a small wall between two bedrooms to make a "boys dorm" for when all our boys are together.

But, what that also means is that we were so burned out on painting and what not that we did not address the main floor. It is eggshell, old paint, and certainly ready to be brightened up. I am one that I hate to put up things until I really have a plan, and decorating is not only not my strong point, but it certainly isn't my priority! So, things are quite often still hung on the nails that were in the house when we moved in, up safely, but not very aesthetically. But, really, why bother when we will just be painting and then doing it all over again. So, it has sat. This winter we got the bathroom in a much better condition and actually quite cute! And I think I am nearly ready to tackle the rest of the house! Whoo-hoo!!!! Maybe once I am done working quite so much, then we can get it done. Right now it is simply keeping up with the daily necessities of life, but I am dreaming.... Dreaming of paint and organizing and all that... The wonders of life!

I have also had on my mind questions that people have asked us recently. I get the impression that people wonder why we have chosen to adopt internationally instead of domestically. Let me set that record straight - we actually were half way through the homestudy process to adopt from foster care when we learned of the boys we are adopting. We knew that we were going to adopt again. We thought from the US. But we have also long said that a child with diabetes would be a very good addition. We have the medical experience, we have the training, we work with the specialists, we have been doing this for nearly six years. I remember what a learning curve there was with learning to care for Kiley - and it is a constant thing. It really rocked our world, but now it just one more thing that is part of our lives. We could easily manage another child with diabetes and provide a good and healthy home for that child.

So, when we got the email - it came through some sort of circuitous route, we still haven't figured out how it got to us exactly - well, it was very clear to us that this was a good answer. We knew we could really help this child. It didn't matter that he was on the other side of the world - again. We knew that we had special skills for this particular child's needs. Not to mention that we are already adoptive parents of older children, a transracial family already, and we have children from the same country with the same language! We knew that we could adopt both brothers, that we could integrate them into the family.

Where the boys were had very little to do with our adoption decision, that was nearly irrelevant. It was the particular experience we had to offer that was the reason we chose this particular adoption. It wasn't about place. It was about the particular need.

(And adding in the little girl was basically because we really felt called to another child who might not be adopted otherwise. It is scary to know that there are 143 million orphans worldwide, and most children older than toddlers will not be adopted, ever. Never know the security of family, love, etc. In fact, most children over 12 months of age are considered "special needs" and the chances of them getting adopted significantly decrease as they get older. In all honesty, I am so thrilled that there will be another female in our family, as I am feeling very outnumbered by all the testosterone!)

I in some ways feel a bit guilty that we are not adopting from the US. It isn't because we don't want to, but it just has not worked out. We have been foster parents for nearly seven years, and have had several children come and go. The going is so very hard. I know there is a need here, but we also know what we are facing to do that. We may very well do that someday, but not at this point, obviously. I do believe that God does call us to particular children, to particular situations. I strongly encourage the people I talk to to look at both options. There is a benefit to both. We are placing no bets on where we go from here. There is no way for us to even think about ever adding more children to the family, when our three are not home and transitioned yet. We may very well decide that "eight is enough", but we have learned the hard way to not try to predict that before we have been in the thick of things for a while. (Hence our secondary infertility - we thought we knew what we wanted. Time changes many things, as we have learned.)

So, I don't view one method of adoption as better than the other - they are very different. There is a need all over the world, in our country as well as others. It is about the child. I love the story of the starfish:

While walking along a beach, an elderly gentleman saw someone in the distance leaning down, picking something up and throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, picking up starfish one by one and tossing each one gently back into the water.

He came closer still and called out, "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

The old man smiled, and said, "I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?"

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the elderly observer commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then he bent down, picked up another starfish, threw it into the back into the ocean past the breaking waves and said, "It made a difference for that one."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

This story has been circulated around the web in many versions, usually with no mention of author. It is said to be paraphrased from "The Star Thrower" by Loren Eiseley, 1907 - 1977.

When I asked my eldest adopted son about his feelings about adoption, he was very frank. He agreed that it was difficult, that there were things he missed about his first country, that there were many changes and it wasn't easy. (He was adopted at 12.) I asked him directly if it was worth it - his life experience made him the best judge, in my view. He was absolutely astonished, insisting that it was very worth it and he was very happy, and that knowing it all, he would be happy to do it again, even knowing how difficult it was at times. Just like any child, he doesn't always appreciate being parented, compromising as you do in a family and all that developmental stuff. But, he belongs and is loved. And he loves us in return. I agree with him, even on the toughest days. All these children are a gift from God and we are honored to share this life journey with them, however they came into our family.

Now, on the other hand, we have run into several folks in the last few days who, when they hear what is happening in our lives, insist to our faces that we are crazy. I know that they laugh and don't really intend it to be negative. I am learning that this is OK. It does sound ludicrous - eight children all within five years of age of each other. Yeah, it does sound wild! (Now, on the other hand, at least we didn't have all of them together in diapers or anything - it is different!) Adding three children to the family at one time, not to mention the medical issues. I have to readily admit that there are moments that I think about it and start to hyperventilate a bit! LOL! I never, ever thought I would be the mom to five boys! But, I also know that it is a day at a time journey. We will take each day as it comes and work through it as it comes. Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

Well, I think I should be done rambling, it was just what was on my mind tonight. We have spent part of the day fundraising for the adoption - hooray for rummage sales! I also spent part of the day at the hospital as my grandmother was brought in again. It is hard to watch as age takes its toll on the people we love, and at times to feel helpless. She will be in the hospital for a day or two, but sounds like everything will be fine, but it is obvious that she and my grandfather need more assistance. The family is pulling together and I look forward to the day when I have more hours to offer.

So, I leave you with this: Phillipians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

Love to you all!

We are getting there!

It is a cold and rainy night here and listening to the wind howl makes me very glad that I am snug and warm inside.

Just thought I would update.

Life is moving along. Soccer season has started and to coincide with that Steve (DH) and Alex (eldest son) got parts in the Dudley Birder production of The Music Man!!! So, thankfully, because Alex's part is smaller, he won't need to be at rehearsals until the end of June, so can continue soccer. Steve on the other hand, got a larger role and is now at rehearsals nightly during the week. I am so very excited for him!!! He did many musicals in high school (and somehow I only got to see the ones that he WASN'T in!!!) and sings extensively at our church and with a Christian swing band, so it is a huge part of his life!!! He is so excited, intimidated and working hard at it - what a blessing! Everyone is very excited for him and anxious to see the production!!!

Our dossier should be on it's way to Ethiopia by now, after having made the trips to the American and Ethiopian embassies in Washington DC last week. Things are moving very rapidly. In our agency, when we move beyond the document phase, we get a new caseworker, and she had been gone for the last few days, so I am anxious to get all the next details! What I understand is that the dossier will go to Ethiopia and be translated. Translation can take up to two weeks. Once that is done, our case can be submitted to court. In order to be submitted to court, we have to have the final fees paid in full. I get it. Ugh. As of Friday, we should be down to $9000, as long as the stupid brakes on the van don't cost too much! I am amazed at how fast we have been able to do this, but am now praying fervently for the final amount! I would greatly appreciate any prayers on this issue!

We did two weekends of donut sales at church, a daylilly sale, and are doing a rummage sale this weekend. Our other produce things get sent in regularly and right now there is nearly $200 waiting to be sent in. God is very faithful and has never been late. We have grant applications out there, but don't expect to hear from them anytime soon, most likely not until July or August, and by that time we hope to have the kids home or be just about to travel! Oh, well, it will perhaps repay anything we might have borrowed to get this done. If anyone wanted to assist in this, there is a button on the right hand side, and all donations are tax deductible and go directly to the agency and applied to our fees, we never even have it in our hands. I like that.

But, as it looks now, we could possibly get a late June court date, or maybe early July? That is what we are praying for. If we were to pass court on the first try, then we would travel five weeks later. I am so hopeful we can get the kids home during nice weather and settled in before winter. Also, we have met our family out of pocket deductible on our health insurance, so it sure would be nice to get all the kids in to the specialists and better medical treatment while we don't have to deal with that.

I am so very grateful for this entire experience! God is so good! I cannot explain how this has happened so fast, sometimes I have to remind myself that we committed to this in the end of January!!! My mommy heart wants these kiddos home, wants my two that need the doctors to be in and under better medical care. I want all my kids under one roof, on one continent!! LOL! What a thought.

We have been asked to be interviewed by a local paper - a small one, so no biggie. Steve will be talking to the reporter tomorrow. We just want our story to speak to other people's hearts for the waiting kids out there. What if one more could have a home and family? What if one more could get lifesaving medical care? What if one more family could be blessed? What if? I know that at some point our house and family will be full, unable to expand anymore, but how do you turn away? I don't know. I don't know if we will consider adopting again. I don't know. When is enough enough? I don't know. I think there is always more that needs to be done, but there are seasons in life. Right now, this is this particular season. I don't know how long it will last or where it will lead. I at least want to know that when I stand before my Lord that I can say "I did all that I could do" - or maybe I will just slide in and say "wow, what a ride!". LOL. Just kidding. But it seems that there is so much out there to do. God had led us on this road and we are just trying to stay walking on it, even when it is difficult to see. One step at a time. That is how we have done so many experiences - Kiley's diagnosis and dealing with diabetes, foster parenting, mentoring teen moms, our first adoption, moving to our farm and building it, and now this. Just one step at a time. There are times I wish we could jump over some spots, but that isn't possible. So, we just keep asking for God's guidance with each step and to the next one. I don't know where he will lead us, but we will follow.

Anyway, I hope you are staying warm on this rainy spring night! I will post more photos soon - it has been a busy spring! Gotta love spring on the farm - the baby goats are hysterical chasing each other around, and now a hen is sitting on some eggs so in about three weeks we should have some little peepers!!! We don't let many of our hens go broody (they want to sit on a nest and hatch them out), but now is the right time of year to do it! This way the little ones will be full grown long before cold weather and healthy to weather the winter and add to our egg laying flock! Whoo-hoo! We should have quite a flock! I so love, love, love free range eggs! Makes the extra work worth it - but the kids love the constant "easter" egg hunt! Daily! LOL!

Happy Spring and God bless!

*Godly Aphorisms*

*God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close.*

*God always gives the best to those who leave the choice to Him.*

*Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.*

*There is no greater loneliness than the loneliness that comes from being locked into my own purposes and my own desires.*

*A season of suffering is a small price to pay for a clear view of God.*

*Sometimes God calms the storms... Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.*

*The only real control we have is to decide to give up control. If we relax our grip, God takes over.*

*Satan schemes, God redeems.*

*The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.*

*When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go. Only one of two things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly!*