I don't know if I have much to share. We are on the rollercoaster of the adoption world.
We are being presented to another family who is expecting a Down Syndrome little girl and is not able to parent her. I am trying so hard not to get too excited. We have been presented several times now, but if this comes together, the baby is expected late December/early January. The agency that contacted us was thrilled with us as a prospective family for this child, and we are able to agree to what the birth family would like - which is to meet us/talk to us prior to the birth, and to have an open adoption. I know that the agency is pleased, but what the birth family might think is unknown.
I am trying not to get too focused or think too much, but we so hope this might be our daughter. Okay, Steve, being a guy isn't totally focused on this - generally he waits to commit himself emotionally until things are a go. Probably a good thing, given the ups and downs and peaks and valleys. I am not so good at that.
I am the one who could not keep any pregnancy a secret or any exciting event. I try not to think too much about possibilities, but I am also the one who is "keeper of the schedule" such that it is. If we are traveling several states away, or I and/or Steve are going to be gone, things must be arranged. I am one of those people who likes to have things somewhat sorted out so I have a plan on how I might get it all managed.
So, we are trying to keep in mind that we are open at any time for a huge change in our lives. We have decided to directly finish all our fundraising/funds collecting as soon as possible, in order to be ready any time we are needed. Thankfully, once we turned it over to God, he has shown his hand. Our prayers have always been that he would make his will very clear. We prayed, responded to the call we got, agreed to be presented, and have asked God to show up if it is his will. Well, ladies from a bible study I have been part of had an envelope for me, with funds to seed our progress in an adoption! And they have let others know of the goal. And a lady I have never met responded yet again. I sent a total sum to our agency, that totaled what I had gotten in the envelope, added in a five dollar refund check, and in faith sent another $20. This is one of those weeks that it is a reach. But I sent it. And then the lady I have never met sent exactly what we needed to cover the extra. I am stepping out in faith again and sending that total amount plus some tomorrow. We are nickel and dime-ing it, but we are making forward progress. It is a tiny drop in the bucket of what we could need by the end of December, but it is forward progress. God has made his will very clear and direct. Literally day to day.
So, we are open to what might happen. If this one does not go through, we will have assembled funds and continue to assemble funds so we will have the amount in total as soon as possible, whenever God decides.
You will notice a button on the left sidebar that is labeled "want to help?". Any funds donated go directly to a special needs adoption. Not to budget, not to toys, not to clothing, directly to an adoption fund. If for some reason we are unable to adopt, all funds will be donated to a family who is in process to adopt.
On that note, we are seeing other families being called to adopt and are so blessed to be walking with them on this road. It is very daunting for most, not only to consider parenting children they have never met, but to look at the funding needed. Most families don't look at having that amount just hanging around. So, the reality is that somehow, this money must be located or earned or whatever. We are teaming up with families not only to lend our knowledge and experience, but to tangibly band together to help fund adoptions. My dream is that we could make a system where we could fund a homestudy for a family, and when their child is home and they get their adoption tax credit the next tax year, that they would then put the money back so another homestudy could be funded for another family. Once a homestudy is done, then the family can apply for grants and loans and what not. But sometimes getting the homestudy done can seem like the first big stumbling block. We shall see where this goes. Right now we are hoping to work with several families to help them get going on the financial and paperwork end. We shall see where God takes this!
I am also going to do a post shortly about adoptive parents and how we feel about our children and God's will. It is a bit complex and I don't have a simple answer, so I hope you check back so I can explain more fully! It has been on my mind a lot lately, and I hope I can put it in a way that makes sense.
There will be more fun posts, but thought I would let you in on the rollercoaster. Winter is coming and we have more that we need to get done, but I don't know if that ever changes! We still are hoping to get kittens to new homes (hint, hint), but things are settled down - or at least will be once our plays are done!
Kiley and I am in The Best Christmas Pageant Ever and that opens this Thursday and runs through Sunday. We have seven performances and so are very tied up with that. Kiley makes an amazing Imogene and I cannot wait to hear what folks think about it. (I am just one of the telephone ladies, the same one I was last year, but am having fun with it, and I think doing better.)
Alex and Zeri both have smaller parts in A Christmas Carol, that runs the first two weekends of December. And Faith, Solomon and Tsion have parts in the church Christmas play.
(Hubby looks over and says "Good gracious, quite a long post." But I never seem to do these in short blurbs. Oh, well, I guess I ramble on!)
Goodnight!
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
3 comments:
Hey, good to see an update. I called an left you a message last week. You must be busy, I haven't heard from you. Give me a call when you can.
My 10-year-old son has significant developmental issues with a list of other physical challenges. PDD-NOS is our only diagnosis. I have often wondered if parents who adopt a disabled child are better able to keep perspective about their ability to care for the child--to remember that they are pouring out all the love and care that they humanly can but are not God. I find myself regularly amazed at how few of my son's issues can be "solved." It's a painful thing to witness his struggles; it's even more frustrating if I stop to think about all that I've tried to do for him. Reading your blog today, I was reminded that even my own biological son is first God's child, and that I am commissioned to love and care for him unconditionally, but that I am still human. My son's well-being ultimately rests in God's hands. What a relief to realize that I am only a child and a vessel, not God. Blessings on your new adventure!
Dear Anonymous,
I so relate to your comment. Our children are God's children first, and only ours to parent. It is a journey, as we are learning. I like to try to compartmentalize things, but generally end up finding that it all becomes a general "flow" of life, and I have to be OK with that. Some days we struggle, some days it feels like a cakewalk. Honestly, one of my "homegrown" kiddos challenges me more than many of my adopted children - and I love them all like crazy. I have learned that adoption has very little to do with it. I watch some of my adopted children struggle and sometimes find that I am angry at the situations that brought them to these struggles, things beyond their control, from their lives previously, things that I had no chance to intervene in. However, then I am hit with a reality check, that often in my "homegrown" kiddos, there are also things that are beyond my control, that I couldn't prevent or modify, and I have to realize that we all have "stuff" to deal with, no matter what. As a parent, it is hard, and I have finally realized, through all these journeys that God loves my children more than I can ever imagine, and weeps for them even more than I do (when it is called for) and rejoices for them even more than I could (when it is called for). And He alone can see the big picture and know the ending and the beginning.
Your son is yours to hold here on earth for God, for whomever he is, for whatever he becomes. He is a precious gift, and I am sure a challenge, as all children are, regardless of their issues. But you are right, you are the vessel of God's love to your child. And God loves you even more than you can imagine. Hugs to you today!
Christy
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