A life of love

A life of love
Everyone should have a Great Pyrenees

Friday, April 3, 2009

Decisions.....

"I had a dream last night but it was a dancing carrot, so it didn't help anything."

This statement from the ever pragmatic 11 year old eldest daughter in the house.

Just when you wonder when you will hear from God, what is the direction to take, and it seems that all you hear are the crickets in the silence, that is when God speaks.

Okay, if you didn't understand the crickets reference, let me explain our family's viewpoint (by the way, the kids came up with this long ago, not me). We live in a very rural area (hooray), and at night, very few vehicles go by, and we are pretty far back from the road, by most standards. So, at night, when it all gets quiet, the crickets are so amazingly LOUD!!!!! Seriously, there are some nights where you think that maybe you won't be able to sleep because of the crickets (unless you think like me and are determined that they must be a lullaby). Don't even begin to mention the spring peepers - the smallest little frogs ever, loud enough to really make you think you are going deaf when they are in full season. Anyway, back to crickets. When we ask the kids a question "who wants to - some chore/volunteer/etc" there are times you hear a quiet chorus from the kids of cricket noises. That is their version of silence - of course it collapses into giggles. So, we use the sound of crickets to signify silence, when you are listening super hard for something and all you hear are the crickets.

Anyway, if you have followed my blog the last week or two, you probably know that we are in the midst of a really hard decision. We know that we are bringing home two boys in our next adoption, but the opportunity came up to adopt a third child, a special needs waiting child. The problem is, there are many such children available. Hence the agony of even considering. When you get down to just a couple who speak to your heart, well, how do you choose? You weigh things back and forth and just struggle.

Well, there were some things that were pretty clear in our family. We cannot adopt older than our oldest biological child. Pretty much a straight adoption rule. Makes sense as messing with that child's birth order can really wreak havoc. And our eldest biological daughter (oldest of the only two girls in the group) was really adamant that she didn't want any more girls in the family (not Mom and Dad's perspective by the way) and certainly NOT one even remotely close to her age.

Now, you have to understand, Kiley and Zeri struggled for the longest time. They are similar in personality, and Zeri is a little older than Kiley. It was a really big deal. But now they are really close and it is so wonderful to see. And I am grateful, because they could make us all miserable when they were at it. I had dearly hoped that they would simply declare a truce, that would have made me happy, I never really dared to dream that they would become such great pals - I am a blessed Momma and I know it!

There are some things in a family that just really cannot be messed with.

So, we were presented with several options and tons of information. We ended up ruling out many children right off the bat, one reason or another. But came down to three left. Two were girls, one a toddler with significant special needs and one a girl about a year younger than Kiley with medical special needs.

Well, Steve and I had talked and weighed things back and forth and decided that the older girl would not be a good fit, simply because of the age and possible friction issues. But we weren't settled on the toddler either. I emailed our wonderful lady at the adoption agency and told her we could not take the girl. She told me that she had already put a DVD into the mail to us of this same girl, it would be at our house shortly. Okay, whatever.

Mail came and there it was. I pulled it out, but wasn't even going to look at it. Neither was Steve. Then we got the kids to bed and were finishing up emails and whatnot. Well, why not pop it in? It's sitting right here.

So, I did. Pretty soon Steve is watching over my shoulder and I am nearly in tears. And who should show up but Kiley. Now remember, she knew we had said no to this situation because of all the birth order/gender issues. Well, she silently watched it to the end, coming closer throughout.

At the end, she said, "I know this sounds funny and that you are going to laugh at me..." And I just held my breath. I could feel every hair on my body standing on end, even more so than it had during the video. "I would choose her. I know what I said about it before, and it makes no sense, but I would choose her.".

Talk about not taking a breath.

So, now back to the whole carrot comment: Tonight, again as the kids are tucked into bed - there must be one good thing about being diabetic - when you come downstairs (again) after bedtime, but to check your sugars, Mom and Dad are really understanding and attentive - she logs lots of extra time this way and it is also the time when we have some of our most amazing talks.

So... She asked us what we thought about this child after sleeping on it overnight. Cricket, cricket, cricket - as I looked to Steve and he looked to me - we hadn't even been able to talk about it yet today.

"I had a dream last night but it was a dancing carrot, so it didn't help anything." To which we just stared at her and then laughed. But then this child went on to say how she still thought it was the right fit, no matter what we all thought had been decided before. this coming from the kid who is as stubborn as her mule - and by the way, they MEAN it. (At our house the kids get a vote on issues, but Mom and Dad get at least 10 each and everyone knows it - we want to know what they think, and then we will go ahead and make our decision.)

We chatted about it a little and then sent her to bed. Now you have to understand that hubby and I have not been able to talk about this since bedtime last night. And we generally have to work our way through things - and he isn't one to leap - though I am, all the time.

So, I asked him, "So, I guess we have to make a decision about this." To which he said, "We're way past the point of making a decision."

So, after all that we have struggled with the last few weeks, it seems that God has finally shown us the right direction, and once again through the words of a child. He performed the miracle in a child's heart, and all things are possible. And the amazing thing, the thing that keeps me knowing we are on the right path, is that there is complete agreement here. And no, I don't mean the kids - again they get a vote, we get a voting block and veto power. But there is finally total peace and direction. That was the feeling last night too, that God had spoken and we had been able to witness it. Unreal, surreal, amazing.

God works in the most amazing ways. Not really sure what the carrot dream had to do with it, but it was too funny!

(By the way, Mom and John, way in Arizona, this is your birth announcement of another granddaughter! Now I expect the phone to ring soon!)

5 comments:

gbmom2407 said...

OH! you made me cry. How sweet. Is the new little lady from ethiopia also? What awesome news! EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

gbmom2407 said...

good morning, I was just wondering if that is a photo of your children in the Stellan name gallory?

Christy O said...

Hi!
Yep, this little lady is from Ethiopia - hopefully will be moved to the foster home where the two brothers we are adopting are so they will know each other before coming home.

And yes that is our kids in front of the Packer stadium! LOL! It was so fun and neat to do that. I have to go look now that it is posted.

gbmom2407 said...

I thought so! How awesome. Our two littles were in the original Stellan gallery. I want to do another one but I have to get creative... Probably his name in our sandbox, we will have to see.
Praying for your family... you are wonderful people.

Blessed Mom of 8 said...

Praising God for how He speaks to us and confirms the decisions placed upon our hearts!

In His amazing grace - Jill
Praying with you on this journey!