Surviving a Mommy sick day...

Sick days happen to everyone.  When you a homeschooling mom of a crew, you still get sick.  And you have to take care of your kids.  But there are very good ways to handle it.

Today I woke with a light headache, did my relaxation exercises and felt much better.  Got going on the day, admiring our huge heavy snowfall today.  The vet called - he was ready for the two kitties we were taking to him to get fixed (no more inundation with kittens).  The girls wanted to ride with me, so off we went.  Felt fine, got the kitties there, made arrangements for picking them up tomorrow (spayed and all), and ran to the post office to send off more adoption paperwork, as well as get more stamps since the kids have decided that letter writing is a great hobby (this mom has no complaints, by the way).

By the time we got back in the van, the headache returned.  With a vengeance.  Thankfully, we were two miles from home so I knew I could get to medication and rest very quickly.  Ugh.  Walked in, got the kids settled, explained the situation - mommy's head seems to think it wants to explode and I need to get myself better.  Set them up for lunch (very grateful that we keep a ready supply of easy to assemble lunches - and that we had sloppy joe leftovers from last night!), gave them a few things to do, and a school video assignment while I would be laying down.  Thankfully, the kids are all very kind hearted and they kept asking me if they could get me anything - over and over.  I finally pretended to be sound asleep even though I really wasn't.  Kindness is great, but mommy needed to concentrate!  Hee, hee.  They then tiptoed in and out checking on me, eventually tapering off to sending someone in to check on me every 15 minutes to see if they could get me anything!

Anyway, I have had this kind of thing happen at various times, it has basically been lifelong - at least since I was seven.  Weather sometimes plays a role too.  I have many times dealt this while raising children.  The job as a mommy doesn't have sick days - unless it is truly horrible and I have to call my husband home from work - that hasn't happened in years.  Only once.  But, it is a reality.  And I am not the only mom who deals with something like this.  Whether it is a headache or an illness, it happens.

So, how do we as moms handle this so our kids are well cared for while we are not well?

Honestly, with some forethought and common sense.

No matter what, we will get ill at some point, and at some point will be the only parent home while we manage.

So, here we go.

Think ahead.  Right now, we have older children and they are wonderfully self sufficient.  It certainly does change how our day goes, and changes what we had planned.  I personally love having things set up for meals, something that I know they can assemble without too much fuss.  Then even though I am not the one getting lunch ready, I know that their bellies are full, they are well fed, basic needs are met.  I also try to have some simple activities ready for them that I can pull out, that they can do themselves.  Honestly, they can read, watch something educational (or even just acceptable), play ping pong, practice music - quietly if the headache is so bad that I am sensitive to sound - which is also rare.  Art projects are good, writing letters, reading ahead on lessons, and general creative play.  We will end up making up schoolwork later - either evening or over the weekend if "mommy teacher" cannot instruct due to illness.  On the other hand, it is also a great time for educational games - math games, phonics games, etc.  The older kids are wonderful for helping to correct the younger and it reinforces the older kids' learning too!

But, soon we hope to have little ones in the house.

We did seriously think about how we would handle this - as every family must, because it WILL happen.  I will do the same things I did when the other kids were little.  I will manage.

Ideas on the practicality, from experience:
Put in a Disney movie that is a favorite or a new one, and cuddle down on the couch with little ones to enjoy together.  Gets in the laying down time as well as time for medication to help.

Easy snacks - Cheerios, crackers, raisins, other easy snacks to put in bowls along with sippy cups, so little ones' bellies are full while mom might not be able to stand over the stove.  Honestly, they won't care, it will be a fun change, and it is only temporary.

Hold it together until naptime (and hope it is soon) and then lay down with the littles.  That is prime time for mom getting better.  Read books together on a large bed complete with blankies or other snugglies.  Or bring coloring books and crayons to the floor or the large bed where you can lay down and do it together.

Pick simple activities that you can sort of limp along with while you get better.  You aren't likely to be able to go out for a snowball fight while you feel horrible.  But, there are lots of things you can do, even though you are under the weather.  I honestly remember the littles tucking a blanket around me on the floor once while they played house with baby dolls when they were around two and three.  I had put the gate across the living room door, so they were in with me, I laid down, complete with their dollies, their dollie clothes and accessories.  They were thrilled to use me as a doll, stroking my head, baby talking, and generally including me in their play.  I will never forget my littlest grabbing one of her favorite storybooks and sitting down next to me, to "read Mommy a story" while I rested.  It was so very sweet.

And honestly, everyone pitches in when stuff in life happens.  We tend to view living life as a team sport - and it is!  We all work together to get things done.  I have seen the kids thrilled to sit and play with littles when they get the chance, and I don't imagine it will be any different when their little sisters get home.  Can you imagine the reaction of a child being asked to forgo schoolwork for a short while to play with a toddler?  LOL!  I vividly remember Alex playing xbox with our one year old foster daughter - he gave her an unconnected controller, she sat in his lap and they both "played".  They had an absolute blast!

So, anyway, as moms, we need to think ahead to sick days.  They will happen.  The bottom line is that everyone must be safe and cared for.  It may mean you need to call in help, but most likely it means that you need to modify your day and what you had planned.  It also will mean that you won't be able to take care of yourself like you might wish.  You might want to pull the covers over your head for two days - that is unlikely to be possible without some serious assistance (neighbor, friend, grandparent, etc).  While that might not be really what can happen, it is very possible to take care of yourself and get better while you care for your kids. Honestly, I was thrilled to see my kids' attentiveness (though it was a bit much) while I was under the weather for a couple hours.  To me it meant not only that they cared about me and my well-being, but also that I had modeled caring and nurturing to them when they weren't feeling well, so they had a pattern to follow.  A very good skill for anyone to have.

So, think ahead to sick times and what you might do to survive it.  With forethought, it is very possible to nurture yourself and your kids at the same time.  After all, they need you well!
Christy

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Lessons in Patience, via a van and hay!

It may be March first, but here in the Frozen Tundra, it is still winter.

We are grateful that it in the 20's and might get to the low 30's today.

However, the reality of living on a hobby farm is that the animals really don't care what the weather is, or that the wind is blowing snow into drifts all over.  And they really like to eat.

Well, today was the day that we run to get large square bales of hay from a place about five miles down the road.  Actually, our easiest hay retrieval.  We hook up the hay wagon (thank you Grandpa John and Great-Grandpa for reconstructing it!) to our big fifteen passenger van and cruise down the road to our supplier (sounds sinister doesn't it??). 

Well, they are so nice!  We drive up, hand them the cash and they load up our wagon with four large bales of hay.  Each large square weighs 600-900 pounds, and there are four of them.  Well, then we haul the trailer out their gorgeous winding driveway over a couple little hills.  And home to feed our animals.  Sounds easy, right?  Usually it is!

But today, it is really windy.  So the snow is blowing all over.  It is sunshiney (is that a word?), but windy.  So, the normally picturesque driveway is still picturesque, but with drifts.  I was a bit concerned as I drove in, but we made it easily.  Got loaded up, admired the animals there, and went to drive out.

No problem for the first half of the driveway.  Then we got to the one slightly larger rise.

The van slowed to a halt as we were working our way up, hauling a huge amount of hay.  Uh, oh.

We backed up to get a running start at it, but the trailer is really wiggly.  Not too bad though.

And then we weren't moving anymore. 

We are out of sight of the house and barns.  So my embarrassment isn't visible, but neither is my predicament.  Sigh.  Moment of thought.  Do I try to get myself out or admit defeat and walk back and ask him to drag me out with his tractor?

Pride won out.  I would work on it.  How do you rock a 6000 pound van pulling a trailer loaded with at least 2400 pounds of hay???

The answer is, very, very slowly.

We could see a clear part of the driveway about 75 feet ahead of us.  Shouldn't be too bad, right?

Well, let's say that God is teaching me patience and perseverance. 

I had one kid up front just telling me if we were still making forward progress or not.  Literally rocking the van with pulses of the gas and then a short rest for the rock back.  Trying to not polish the snow under us to ice.  We literally were making progress an inch at a time. 

For 75 feet......

It was depressing when we would stop making progress and have to back up to a clearer spot and take a short run at it to get onto some new ground.  It was a lot of back and forth, huge progress, huge losses, and then slow, patient progress. 

I could literally see a tree outside the window passing us one inch at a time for a while there.  And we aren't talking slow going, we are talking rock forward an inch. Release the gas, let the van settle back and then rock forward again to plow through a little more snow, pulling this huge weight. 

I could so relate to my van at that moment.

But, as long as we kept our calm, worked at it slowly and steadily, we could see that we were making progress.  I have no idea how long it took, but eventually, we reached that clearer space and were able to take a good steady run at the next snowdrifted little hill.

And we made it out.  We had done it.

I was thinking that sometimes life is like that.  Sometimes you just have to keep an eye on the landmarks that show you where you have come from, the progress you are making, and know that even though it looks like small progress (maybe in what it seems like should be easy under other circumstances), it all adds up.  Every little bit.  Before you know it (and it may seem agonizing in the interim), you will have made serious progress, and maybe even gotten to your goal!  Small progress is still progress.

I had a friend ask me about what we needed for our adoption - and she had a detailed request. 

To look at the big thing - we think all total we need between $25000 and $28000 for the adoption of the girls.  Wow.  That looks like a lot.  It is a lot.

However, from that we have paid $550 to the homestudy agency to get started, $4500 that we have paid out of our tax return for the agency fees, $150 for education expenses, 3 times FedEx charges of $50 each time, and a $300 application fee to the adoption agency.  That is a chunk out of what we owe.

What we need (likely not totally complete):
Agency fees: $9000
Homestudy remaining fees, including post adoption work: $1000 due this week, $1800 due ASAP (before the homestudy is released) and $750 for more educational fees.
Immigration (for fingerprinting and application for children):  $900 (approximate)
Airfare: $1200-2500 for each adult round trip (times two) and about $1000 per child (we think)
In country fees: $3000 that we take with us.
Certificates: $100
Mailing expenses: $200

I think that covers it.  Again, this is somewhat rough, but really close. 

I didn't ever really want to share it in total as it seemed too detailed, but my friend really wanted it because she thought it was helpful to see how things went and to know that even small things make a difference.  It all adds up.  In a huge way.

So, like my van, each bit adds up to make huge, huge progress.  I look at how far we have come and am thrilled.  I can see those landmarks passing.  I know that if we keep at it, slow and steady, doing everything we can, that we will also get there.  It is a heavy load we are carrying, but like my van, with slow, steady work, we can get there.  I have living proof of it in my house.  That carries me on this journey, even when I might get discouraged.  There is no reason for discouragement.  We serve the God who loves these little girls more than we can imagine.  Certainly he will bring to completion the good work he has begun in us.

Happy March First everyone!!!


"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Our Adoption Video!

I think I figured out how to get this put up here!  I forgot that I can "embed" YouTube videos onto my blog!!!!  Duh!!!!  So, you can hear and see what we did more easily!  I am trying to put in a chip in button so you can see the progress towards the goal.  At this point we are about 1/4 of the way to needed funds for the adoption!  Working like crazy!


"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Adventures in an ongoing life!

I am trying to be a much better blogger, but life is busy!  Last night dear hubby returned home from a business trip, just in time to sing for a benefit for a Christian School in the area.  It was great, as always.  I love it when he sings with this band - it is a Christian Swing band, a big band and plays a lot of things similar to Denver and the Mile High Orchestra (whom I have been blessed to see once!).  I have several that are favorites.  One is "Saved and Free", and mostly because I know how close that hits home to my hubby and that when he sings it, it really means a lot to him.

The other from last night is: "Souled Out Holey Shoes".  I cannot find it on YouTube, but if you know it or look it up, it is well worth it.  What spoke to me last night was how we are called to do the best we can for Christ.  Whatever it is that we are called to do, God can use.  He created us, to be who we were needed to be.  Basically, it was encouraging us to be sold out for doing the best we can for our Lord, at whatever it is, each moment and each day.  Well, it occurred to me as I looked down the row at my children and then up at my husband belting out this amazing song, well, it occurred to me that God has taken two simple midwestern kids, with simple talents and used them for his work.  I am always stunned at Steve's skills and how much he means each thing he sings (he really puts his heart into it, and what this chooses is so in line with Steve's heart).  To hear him using the gifts God has given him is always amazing.

And then to think about me.  Simple, midwestern kids - all I wanted to be was a mom some day.  My career path was totally created around serving others, and being available to raise my own kids.  My greatest hope and joy was to be a wife and mom.  And I scanned down the row at my crew, with all their uniqueness, their amazingness, and I am so humbled and amazed.  God created me with the desires HE put in me.  I am so grateful that He has allowed me to use those desires to His purposes.  He has so granted me the desires of my heart - He placed them in my heart, and if I allow Him to, He will use them for His good, as well as the good of others.  Sometimes it requires being willing to go a bit out of your comfort zone (or way out!!!).  Can I just clarify for everyone that I never set out to be the mom to ten kids (though am happy about it), or to EVER have left the country to go to AFRICA!!!  I am so not a world traveller.  I would be most content to be at home on our hobby farm with my family and animals.  Talk about being stretched!!!  When I went to Ethiopia to bring Solly and Zeri home, I cried all the way to the Milwaukee airport - about two hours from here!  Honestly, I did not think I was going to be able to move my legs enough to board that airplane!  This was NOT in MY plans!  But I did, and I cannot even describe how life changing it was!  Honestly, God's plans were much better than my plans!  I do feel like He has used the desires and skills he created me with to be a part of the tapestry he is weaving!

Anyway, it struck me how we each have that role.  God created us with interests, drives, desires, and He did so purposefully.  We can totally use those things to serve God, whatever it is.  Even the simple things, how we interact with others as we go about our day, the grace we extend to others, doing the best we can at whatever it is we are to do - whether we like it or not - some jobs are just boring!  But, you never know what God will use - it might be your laundry task, or your bookkeeping, or someone just observing as they pass.  You just never know.  I am amazed at times how many people know who we are, as we are out and about (yeah, we do stand out and live in a small community).  Sometimes someone will come up and tell me about somewhere they saw us and what they observed - and I realize how we are always a witness, even in the little things.

So, God made you who you are, as you are, for a reason.  You can be sold out for God, doing what he means for you to do, and quite often in mundane things.

Since I couldn't find the song I wanted, and I love Denver and the Mile High Orchestra (though I like to hear my husband sing it more!!!)  I am trying to put in a YouTube video of them doing "Stand".  I highly recommend their music, though I have to admit that I mostly listen to their older stuff.  But maybe that is because I am "old" - hee, hee.



God bless you all!  Look back one post to see a link to our video that my son made along with a dear friend of ours about our adoption.  We are so blessed and I hope we said something that is meaningful to you.  I could talk forever on what adoption means to us, what family means to us, and why we believe that (especially) Christians are called to adopt, and why it is so important to God.  And why if we cannot or aren't called, why we need to be advocates and supporters of the orphans and adoptive families!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

New update!!! God is moving!!!

Just wanted to send an update - adoption has been a roller coaster, ups and downs, documents disappearing in the mail, and then reappearing and on and on.  BUT...

We are going!!!  Progress is amazing, our updated homestudy is nearing completion, we have our first set of fees in to the international agency, thanks to donations and our tax return and extra hours!!!!!  We still have lots to go, but we have seen huge headway in the last week or two.  It looks like it will be six to nine months before we can bring the girls home, but i am at peace with that.  Of course, the sooner the better, but we are seeing forward progress, so I keep plugging away!

A dear friend wanted to make a video for us, actually there will end up being several in the end, but the longest one (about ten minutes) is done now and up on YouTube.  Here is the YouTube address for it:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joqC8hlq4Nc.  You will have to copy and paste because my dearest darling husband and computer guru isn't home to tell me how to post it as a link.  I have almost memorized how to do it, but don't have it down.  We do have a "donate" button on the side, if God should move your heart.  As all of us know, every little bit helps and our God is all about multiplying!!!!  I am continually amazed at Him and His provision. 

It was fun to try to explain a little about our life and adoption and all.  I hope we did it well.  Please let me know what you thought about the video.  Our eldest son was our videographer and editor (he wants to do this professionally and will be beginning an internship in it in the next month or two, so he is well on his way).  He spent many hours working on this and I am so proud of his efforts!!!  Thank you Alex!  You are a great help for your little sisters!

God bless you all this most wonderful day!  I hope we all are feeling a little closer to spring!

Christy
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Breath of Heaven....

I am playing Amy Grant's Breath of Heaven on my computer now, and watching cats with catnip.

Ever have a day that seemed to go really well, and when it was done you just might have missed the boat?  For me that generally induces a panic attack.  Quiet and internal, but there.  Today I worked most of the day, the kids were well cared for, everyone fine, I got everywhere I was supposed to and got done what was on my list.  But when I got home I felt like I had spent the whole day on the wrong track and no one knew it but me.  And I couldn't see it until just now. 

We know that these few days of working are of limited time, and to meet specific needs, for a limited time, but when I get home, I feel a sudden overwhelming crushing stress.  Not that things aren't done, not that everyone isn't fine, but just there.

I know that the place I belong is home, and heaven knows, there is enough to do here to keep me forever busy, even with the energy of the Energizer Bunny.  This is totally where my heart is, where my value is.  I know that this is another season, that God is holding me up, holding us all up, preparing us for whatever season he has called us to. 

Breath of heaven, hold me together, be forever near me, Breath of heaven. 

Breath of heaven, lighten my darkness, pour over me your holiness for you are holy.

But I offer all I am for the mercy of your plan.


As a mother, my main goal is to be here for my children and my deepest desire is to be here for every second.  I so am fed off of being with them, they are my strength and my purpose.  This is who I am at this point in time.  I know it is a season, and I am determined to glean every bit of it that I can.  This is the season I am in, this is the season I am called to be focused in.  I know that one day I will look back and wonder where the time went. 

And I just want to know that I did everything that God called me to do in this season of my life.  This is my chance to really pour into my childrens lives.  I can have more influence on their futures at this point than I will be able to at later times.  I want to know that I did everything they needed me to do. 

Maybe this is the prayer of every mother.  This is certainly my prayer.  I don't want to miss a moment.  I don't want to waste a moment.


"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Green Bay Packers - SuperBowl Champs!

Just a quick note!  We are huge Green Bay fans here - Steve and I both basically grew up in Green Bay and our family lived there until we moved to the farm!  What a great game, two strong teams, as it should be!  But wow, hard on the heart and vocal cords!  So, congratulations Green Bay Packers!!!!!!!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11