Today was a landmark day, a day when I was ushered into a view of the world that I did not ever want to have. Today was the day my youngest son was called a "n****r" on the soccer field by some grandpa. What had he done to deserve that? I guess be born black, be good at soccer, and be running by the man as he was playing the game with his team. I was so upset that I could not leave the kids playing the game in the well capable hands of friends (who also have a child on the team) while I ran one of the older kids to his soccer practice. I just couldn't stand to not be there if something else happened. I just had to be there.
We were prepared for this by our adoption agencies, by tons of books that we have read, but when it actually happens, you just kick into stunned mode and then mama bear mode. The two are not a good combination. Do you want to go over and punch that guy? Do you just try to get a coherent thought in your frozen brain?
I am afraid that my response was basically stupid where I said "That is MY SON you are talking about!". Thankfully other spectators heard it, and jumped in in outrage. Shortly the man moved way, way, WAY away from the sidelines. Unfortunately, the man should have been ejected from the field, but the coaches and referees also seemed to have the same problem I did, and it passed. I go between being irate, and being just numb, and then enormously sad.
Thank the Lord, the child in question did not appear to hear the phrase. Or if he did, he hasn't said anything as of yet. I will be watching and listening carefully. I am not sure that he would even know the word, and may just assume it is an English word he didn't know. I don't know how we will address this in the future. At this point we are going to work on pat phrases that we can give to stupid or awful comments. We need to have something we don't have to think about in that awful moment.
Why is it that people feel the need to be racist? And to say it to a child? I just don't get it. Why would you call a nine year old boy that?
Okay, I am just a muddle of a ton of emotions and cannot seem to put them into words at all. Where in the world does this make sense. I have to say, I am really looking forward to hearing how the league is going to handle this. I am on the email link and phone link so expect to hear soon. My wonderful friend (who also has adopted children from Ethiopia, and was there at the game, and much more intimidating than I was) called the league president before I was even back from another child's soccer practice.
Where in the world does racism against children make sense? I hope not here.
1 comment:
I am SO sorry that happened!!!! It's beyond appalling and so incredibly hurtful.
I don't know how I would have answered, either. I often get tongue-tied when someone says something blatantly offensive to me or one of my kids. I think it's because you never really expect someone to be THAT rude. Unfortunately, our country is full of such jerks. (((( hugs ))))
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