The Egg of Hope


January 21, 2019

Let me tell you a story. Because, well, I like telling stories. And like much of what matters to me, it revolves around farm life and life lessons. So, I’m going to introduce you to the Egg of Hope.

My coworkers, were they reading this, would likely be laughing at just the title. Because they have put up with me and my “hopeful eggs” for years. Each year, at approximately the same time, I come in wildly excited about an egg. Yep, an egg. None of them are farm kids or have chickens, so this is quite novel to them. But this egg, in what feels like the dead of winter, is a hallmark of hope and of spring and brings me immense joy and excitement. Let me tell you why…

In the natural order of things, chickens egg production is ruled by the length of daylight. I firmly believe that this is an excellent way that God gave our hens to have a period of rest and renewal. In a typical year, a hen will lay about five eggs a week, not quite one a day, with production peaking in the longest days of the summer. As the year progresses and the days shorten, the production slows down and finally, usually in late November or early December, my chickens stop laying eggs altogether. If you pay attention, production very closely follows the hours of daylight each day. As they shorten, so does the egg production lessen. It makes sense to me. Our birds need to store up energy and fat for winter and conserve their resources. Don’t we all do that? Certainly, I watch my horses do the same as they grow their thick winter coats and pad on a few more pounds as the days get colder.

Well, even though the days remain cold and even get much colder, there comes a day, usually in mid-February, where I find an egg in the nesting box when I tend to the chickens. I don’t really want to embarrass myself, but in all honesty, I spend time in the henhouse thanking the chickens, holding that one pitiful little egg reverently in my palm. My day will be colored with joy and hope, and I tend to make my friends and coworkers crazy as I tell them that I found the first egg of the year. I am sure they think it is a bit nuts to be so excited about one little egg when I can certainly buy an entire dozen at the store at any time. But, this egg is significant, and here is why…

This egg, this first egg, deep in what feels like the middle of winter in our cold Wisconsin climate, tells us that even though we cannot see it, spring is coming.

It tells me that even though I cannot feel it, warmer days are coming.

It tells me that my birds, created by God to follow the seasons in ways that I don’t intuitively do, know that spring is coming and they are getting ready. See, they feel the hope and promise long before I do, long before it is evident.

This egg, this one measly egg, is held in my gloved hand, with a scarf around my neck, heavy coat and boots on, as I am fully geared to deal with the harsh elements. But this miraculous egg tells me that soon the sun will feel warm, I will shed the heavy clothing and be able to see buds on the trees and shoots coming up from my flower beds. I can’t see it yet, and it will still take time, but it is coming and there is actual PROOF.

So, as you walk a dark and difficult season of life, as it seems like it may never end, keep your eyes open for your own egg of hope. It doesn’t mean that this season is over, or that it is less painful, but the truth is that spring is going to come. It will, even if you cannot see it today. My chickens know it, and they foretell it each and every year for me. Hold onto whatever it might be that gives you a moment of hope and comfort. Choose small things that bring you comfort and peace. Each of those little things builds on each other and can help you get through until full spring arrives. Hold onto your faith, even if it is by the tips of your fingers because it will carry you through. The God of creation promises that spring will come. Each spring looks different and may come in with a storm of early March, or it may come in softly like a breath of spring air, but it will come. You do not walk alone, though you may not think you see it.

Just like that first egg promises that an unseen spring is coming, there are small things that will herald your coming spring. I choose to cradle that little, pitiful egg with sheer reverence and keep it in mind as I go about my days in the darkness and cold of winter. Just thinking of it brings me an internal feeling of warmth and hope and carries me through. After 12 years of raising chickens on our little hobby farm, that simple egg every year reminds me that God is always here and every year spring comes. In the darkness of difficult relationships, heartbreak and tragedy, there is at some point a little egg. I am slowly learning to find those little promises and enjoy even the difficult times.

Today is mid-January, and it is bitter, bitter cold here. Today I found an egg. This is early in the season, and likely there will be very few if any, eggs to be found for the next month or so, but after the last few weeks, I was struggling to find any hope. And today, God gave me an egg. That egg is a promise.

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

A not so fun day on the farm – funny now though!

Last night we were in the pantry, planning out meals for the rest of the week, when Kiley let out a squeal. Turns out she was looking eye to eye with a mouse! Little brown eyes and a wiggly nose, sitting right on a pantry shelf! Ewww!!!!

Honestly, I have to interject here. When you live in a house that is 130 or so years old, on rural property, mice are a fact of life. There is a reason we have a couple cats in the house, and we usually only see one or so a year. The cats take good care of that. But fall is arriving and they are looking to come into warmer quarters. Ugh. We are always looking for how they got into the house and sealing it up. But, it is a fact of life. One that I really could live without.

Well, we have five pantry shelves, in a house with eight kids and a lot of activity. So the shelves tend to evolve from the organized unit I want it to be, to a cluttered, things just put on a shelf, no matter what it is, kind of thing. We were in the disorganized phase. And now there is a mouse staring at us!

The mouse ran to the back of the shelf, hiding behind things, while Kiley jumped out of the pantry and the rest of us ran to see what was the cause of the excitement. Eww. Just eww. We rapidly moved glass items off said shelf and tried putting a cat on the shelf. We even just about put the cat on top of the mouse. Obviously Bravo was a little disconcerted by our reactions and suddenly being thrust onto a shelf in the pantry we generally shoo'd him out of! He didn't even notice it! And the mouse did the smart thing and beat a retreat to go behind canned goods! Then ran down to the shelf below.

We tried putting another cat in there, who also was so distracted by all the excitement that she never realized that she had a job to do! At that point, we decided that we would have to take over.

Imagine this. Our small pantry – was probably origionally a small coat closet, with nine of us crowded around it. All in search of one little mouse.

We made a chain, passing items from the shelves out to be put on the table and warily watching for the mouse. I kept a close eye on the spot where I had last seen it. Turns out mice can really flatten themselves against stuff. We eventually found it, it jumped all over, and there was lots of noise from all of us – not our most courageous moment, and the mouse made it to the floor. With three kids on guard to make sure it didn't get out of the pantry (imagine nightmares of waking up to it in another area of the house – I don't think I would have slept for dreams of it sitting on my nightstand looking at me) we continued to empty the pantry. Eventually the last hiding spot was removed and the mouse shot across the floor and lo and behold, right down a tiny hole in the corner by the baseboards. So now we knew how it got in! That was progress, and it was out of the house – at least, that is what I am going on, so please don't break my illusion!

Whew. What a mess we now had. Little mouse had been all over our shelves and left its calling card. Ugh. Out came disinfectant. We washed EVERYTHING in there. All the shelves, walls, cans, everything that had been in the pantry was washed down. We sealed the hole with spray foam so hopefully the mouse won't be back!

So, now my pantry is well organized, very clean and I know where every little thing is.

Not how I was planning on spending my evening, but I am sure the kids will never forget it. Ugh. Funny now, but not so much then. Welcome to fall in the country.

So, if you come and visit us, you will notice that there are a couple inside cats and at least ten barn cats. This is why. No mice allowed. Our kitties are generally good mousers and that is there job. I have to admit that this morning, we were heading out to get a load of hay and Zeri was cleaning out his old pigeon cages – one of the barn cats came streaking by with a big mouse in her mouth. And me, the animal lover, praised that kitty all over. Yay for good mousers!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Bloggy ramblings!

Just wanted to update a little, and capture a few stray thoughts.

The girls and I are still in NY state.  We will be leaving tomorrow morning, right after taking the little girls to school for the day.  My brother got home yesterday and so we got to see him and spend time with him too.  It was great to see him, and hang out just chatting about things.  He has slides of my dad's, from when he was in the military and quite the world traveler.  He was able to show me some that he has on his computer, and it is looking at my dad when he was in his early 20's, just amazing.  Before my folks were married or had even met.  And boy, oh boy, can you see him in my brother!  Probably me too, but you really see it in Eric.  I only have a few photos of my dad as he was generally always the photographer.  I recall him at age 44, the age at which he passed away, and it is really neat to see him in younger years and wonder about his life.  Eric has said he will get me copies and I really look forward to it.  Heritage and family.  Very important.

We have had a good time with my nieces, trying to keep their world spinning as normally as possible.  I think it has gone pretty well.  We drove to Niagara Falls on Saturday - I was so proud that I got us there without getting lost - these roads around here are very winding and don't follow the grid patterns the farmland around our home does!  We had a good time, walked a lot, it was a gorgeous day!  All six of us girls got a necklace to commemorate our "girls time" and as a souvenir.  It was fun.  Talk about amazing looking at the power and majesty of the Falls.  Simply amazing.  We saw two wedding parties there for photos, and heard many languages all around us!  People from all over were there, doing exactly what we were doing - snapping photos, and being amazed.  We were tired by the end and glad to head home after just a couple hours.  A quick dinner and chores and we were ready for bed! 

Sunday my brother's in-laws picked him up at he airport for me (I was very glad for one less place to try to find in an unfamiliar city) and they all came out to his house.  We got everyone settled, had some lunch that my girls decided to cook up, and visited and saw the animals.  It was really nice.  Then we took off for the Lewiston Peach Festival!  Close by and sort of like a mini carnival or fair.  Yummy fresh peaches!!!  We had peach shortcake - it was HUGE!  I am so glad I decided to share with someone, as even just a half had me stuffed.  We saw lots of dishes at the stalls that were new to us, and some that I want to try - Italian Rice Balls!!!!  It smelled so very good, but I was still full from lunch, so didn't try them there.  And slovaki's or something similar to that.  I will have to look up the recipe and give it a try.  It all smelled so amazing, but I simply couldn't eat a thing!  Bummer!  The girls had fun on some rides and all five rode on the haunted house ride - some of the older girls even admitting that they shut their eyes!  But they were all smiling and laughing when they came off!

We have had fun, established a routine for ourselves, but homesickness is really starting to set in.  We are all ready to go home, to be home.  I do admit we will miss family here, and the riding arena (!!!!), but we miss our own family, our own routines, our own life.  The girls are even admitting to missing their brothers!!!!  LOL!  I am ready to sleep in my own bed - I never sleep well when I am away from Steve and this has been a long stretch for us.  Miss my guys, all of them.

So, tomorrow we will take the little girls to school - say our goodbyes, and start the trek home.  I figure we won't get home until maybe midnight, but I can easily live with that.  To wake up in our own beds!  To hear all my kiddos around me!  To hug my hubby!  Sounds like heaven to me!

I have been pondering about 9/11 also.  It was quite emotional for me yesterday morning and I just couldn't coherently blog about it.  I so vividly recall that day.  All of it, and all that came after.  We are so blessed to live where we do, to have the safety we have, the protection and freedoms we have.  It is through the sacrifices of our military, our firefighters, our police, and so many others, that we can HAVE our daily routines, and our simple lives.  I remember for months after 9/11 thanking all of these brave people and praying for them each time I was able to safely tuck my children into their calm beds, into their safe beds.  We can never forget.  We must always remember, and always protect ourselves.  We must value those who sacrifice so much for our safety and lives - not just the folks who are on the front lines, but their families at home who sacrifice also!  I fully intend to raise my children to know of that day, though they were so small when it happened.  We must never forget.  There is so much we must never forget.  I thank the Lord daily for His protection and love.  I pray for our leaders, our country, as we must.  And I try to raise my kids to be the kind of people we need in this world.  I hope, I so hope that we succeed. 

Love to you all from NY!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

One of those days on the farm! LOL!

Well, it has been one of those days, in a humorous way.

The riding lawnmower - with the grass catchers on it that make our goats and horses very happy - has not been running well lately.  I did some research online and found that maybe it was the air filter - so the kids and I located that and cleaned that.  No better.

Then we decided to check the spark plug - well, that wasn't it either.  At least I know where it is now.

My time has been pretty tight lately, what with play practices for Alex, two different opportunities for me to work (and both buildings are busy, which is really unusual, but a huge blessing at this time), and getting Kiley to the stable for her training, and the usual dentist and doctor appointments and what not.  So, I hadn't done any further research.  The lawnmower sat sadly next to the goat pasture.  Sigh.  While the grass kept growing and growing.

And growing.  Can you tell that it is quite long in places?  I even let the mini pony out and a couple of the goats (the ones that don't tend to wander) to try to work on some of the grass.  Sigh.

So, beloved hubby came home from work today and fixed the lawnmower!  Yay!  We loved having him in the play, but oh, my goodness, did we miss him!  Anyway, he fixed the lawnmower!  Turns out that the fuel line was twisted and crimped.  I hadn't gotten around to looking at that yet - yeah, that was it!  Anyway, he got it fixed!   I got home from work and was so excited!  So, he took me over to the lawnmower to take a look and show me what he had addressed. 

And this is what we saw:

Notice that part of the hose it no longer attached to the rest of it.  In fact, it has been gnawed apart.  Gas spilled all over the mower.  Clearly the mower engine can no longer get gas.  Hmmm.....

 Oh, look.  Greta, the Alpine dairy goat, out and running around out of the pen because she keeps getting picked on by the others.  Hmm...  Smelling suspiciously like gasoline.  The culprit has been found!

Hubby is now going to go the the hardware store on his way home - to get a metal gas line!


"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Good eats, spring on the farm, adoption news!

Hi all!
Spring is finally here!  Today is our first bout of rain in a few days after many previous days of being soaked.  So, I can post something without feeling like I have to run off, though of course, I probably do!

We have been making lots of tortillas lately and experimenting a lot.  We found a soft and chewy recipe that we have decided is the best, though we haven't quite worked out the quantity we need to make to feed everyone and still have some leftovers.  That is a typical kind of thing we run into raising eight hungry kids - I love to have leftovers for fast snacks, future meals and to send with hubby to work.  But, we have decided that there is very little that is better than fresh warm tortillas!  The boys had gone charter fishing on Lake Michigan last fall, and we had frozen some smoked fish from that trip.  We thawed it out and had tortillas with smoked fish - yum!!!!  Nothing fancy, nice and simple, but great as everyone has been loving being outside and by the time we finish farm projects and chores, and gather the kids back in the house from the yard/trampoline/pastures/basketball hoop, a quick, easy meal is the best!  If you look in previous posts, I linked to Chickens in the Road where Susan has the recipes we have been using.  Like I said, we have decided that we like the soft and chewy ones best, but we have tried several of the offerings.  It is fairly easy, and if the kids get involved in rolling them out and cooking them, it becomes a great family activity!

We are enjoying spring - and the reality that farm work - even on our small hobby farm, brings lots of work.  Today we are hauling a few loads of hay - while I have helpers and a stretch of time to get it done.  Amazingly, our horses and goats, and the sheep, like to eat.  Huh, who'd a thunk it?  Hee, hee!  My garden is getting a slow start due to the weather, and the weeds have taken over, so I am going at it chunk at a time.  I have lettuce in, raspberries, strawberries, rhubarb (that is cheating since it comes up on its own!), and even a few flowers.  Today and tomorrow I am hoping to get carrots in and maybe trade some eggs for some tomato plants!  (Hint, hint, Laurie at Common Sense Homesteading).  

But the other part of our weekend is that we are really going to push it on getting the bedroom remodeling done, at least as much as we can this weekend.  We are coming down to the wire, almost done with the adoption appointments and then our social worker needs to come out and take a look at the new room, just to verify with her own eyes.  We are doing it according to their recommendations, so I have no worries, but it is part of the protocol.  Then our homestudy paperwork is DONE and we can apply to immigration!!!!  We will have to go to Milwaukee to get fingerprinted by homeland security for that step.  We need to have that clearance sent to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to the embassy there in time for court.  We don't have a date yet of course, so we don't have any idea when we will be traveling for that process.  Then we will be home for about two to three months before our return trip to bring the girls home.  I have our dossier paperwork ready to go, just need the fees to send with that - so if you want to be part of our puzzle piece fundraiser (see previous posts) or to purchase candles, or to just chip in, please feel free to do so, or simply lend prayers!  Our chip in button isn't showing all the progress, somehow, I haven't figured that out - as I cannot add in funds we have gotten/earned through other means to reflect how close we are getting.  According to what I can see, we are about not quite halfway to our goal.  Once we have the homestudy paperwork, we can apply for grants so that also may help.  And it looks like we might be able to be part of Reece's Rainbow to help with bringing our girls home.  And anyone local - we will shortly have Seroogy's Chocolates for sale!!!!!

We have been big on getting lots of complicated things out of the way so we will have less to focus on when the little ones get home.  Two boys in drivers ed - means I likely will have drivers to help with some of the running.  Crazy scheduling right now, but will be one less thing to have to do when we have toddlers again.  Getting kids launched in internships, and part time jobs, all that.  It is great, and will really simplify life in the near future.  In the meantime, zaniness!  Hee, hee!  It is hard to believe that our two oldest are both sixteen!  Time is short!  Lots to pour into them!  Getting new goat housing for our bucks up, new pasture fencing to be done yet this summer, all the usual farm stuff!  But the more done now, the less we have to do later!  I am so ready to hunker down with our little ones and our crew!  So, we do lots now so we don't have tons to do when they are home!  I remember how fast all that time goes when the kids are little (and big!) and I want to be sure to live in every minute with them.

And so, with that, off to move horses to the newer pasture (not quite secure so they can only be there when we can keep an eye on them), and try to repair the stupid washing machine, before I run boys to internship and start the hay runs!  I love summer!!!!  My pants keep getting bigger!  Farm work is better than a gym membership!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Progress continues!!! And so does spring!!!!!

Hi all!
Just got an update from our international agency, and we were told that other than a few small tweaks, our dossier is just about ready to go to Ethiopia this Friday - if I can get it all done by then!  I will be working on that rapidly!!!!! 

This is much sooner than we had been fearing, so we are hopeful again to see things actively moving forward!!!  We are so anxious to get our girls home!  Scared and thrilled and all of that!  Totally thrilled overall!  Anyway, if you know of anyone who would like Vine Candles, Seroogy chocolates or puzzle pieces (see puzzle piece post about that!) please let me know!  And we have farm fresh eggs!!!!  The dossier fee is $1000 and we have part of that set away, and we will sit down tonight with payroll and bills and see if we can squeeze the rest out.  This came faster than we had thought - thankfully! What a great problem to have!  We could have our dossier in Ethiopia before the end of MAY!!!!!  Praising God!!!!  Don't know what that might mean for a court date, that is very up in the air, but each step gets us closer!

And it is spring on the farm - baby animals - soccer - gardening - training horses, we generally have lots to keep us busy!  The older boys are working at an internship at a auto mechanics/body shop.  They will get three high school credits for the automotive portion by the time they are done!  And they are loving it!  A great experience for them overall!  So, things are busy as always.  I am trying to get lots of outside work done when the weather is good and lots of inside when it isn't.  And when it is I set my timer so I do stints of inside work before I beat it to the outside!!!!  And schooling outside!!!!  Lots of science going on, in the real world work, but also it is just more fun to read and work outside - if the winds allow! 


I will figure out how to get new photos off the camera and onto my blog!  I can only find old ones stored on the computer right now!!!  Grrrr.....

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Trying to get our routine back - again!

Well, it has been an amazing bit of time on our homestead!

I have finished out the last contract for work - which means I should be down to a much lighter schedule, which is much needed by everyone!  The kids have been fabulous with helping out and pitching in, but it has been a long stretch.  I think we have totally paid for the new bathroom.  Whew.  As soon as that last paycheck comes in.  Yay!  It was a long, hard stretch and we were all showing the strain.

So, I feel like I have gone to heaven, thinking of being home most of the time now!

Tomorrow we start getting our regular routine back - starting schooling again for all eight, continuing working on our homestead, training horses, riding, and on and on.

I have promised my husband that I will do more writing now, and this is the beginning of my efforts to do so.  I am hoping to set aside an hour a day, one way or the other to write.  I have several things in the works, and will be working on those as well as blogging more.

So,  the big events are typical for this time of year in the Frozen Tundra - at least for those of us who try to somewhat farm.  We are preparing for winter.

Sigh.

We all know that it is coming.  It is inevitable.

It will be cold, it will be long, and at times it will be hard on us and the animals we care for.

So, each year, we prepare.

We do whatever we can to improve things, and each year it gets better.

This year there is a lot, but I guess every year there is.
This year, we are have a lot of things we are trying to get done.  Sigh.

The rabbits moved out of the old rabbitry in our old garage (loosely called that).  We built all new rabbit hutches with nesting boxes along one side of the house and moved the kids' rabbits over to that.  It is really nice.  I call it the 'rabbit taj mahal'.  The rabbits are very happy, to say the least.  And they will be wonderfully set for winter!

The garage is being converted into goat housing. Problem is that the 'garage' has slipped from some of the foundation and dropped into the the ground by about six inches at one entire end of the building.

Yep that is a problem.  All sorts of things kitty whampus.

Well, we read about how to restore old buildings, to renovate and make them strong again.  Books make sense, but I always worry.  You know, when you go to do a home renovation project, it always takes three times as long as you think it will, and costs at least double if not more.  So, lifting a garage and putting in new sill plates and supporting the foundation seems like quite a challenge, regardless of how relatively simple it sounds in a book!

Hah!

For once, the book was right, and even better, while it took a while to do it, it wasn't terrible to do!  The garage went up, the bent siding straightened, and we were able to dig out the foundation.  And get the building supported!  Imagine chains holding a building together, three car jacks lifting, and a lot of amazed looks!  It worked!

The best way then to hold it all together (outside of the chains on the outside of the building), is to then support the inside as it is all straight.  So, insulation goes in, plywood interior walls go up, and the building is held together firmly.

Amazing!

So, we are still putting up the insulation and interior sheeting (plywood), so the chains are still around the building, but it is all coming together!  Can we all say "whoo-hoo"?

With a three day weekend coming up, I expect we just might get it done....  And maybe even get some goat stalls assembled in there.

So, I will be calling an electrician to help us run electrical to the barn!!!!!  Because that is what it will be!  A real goat barn!!!!  With heat lamps, heated water buckets and all.  Ready for winter babies!

And on another topic - we had a great "gotcha day" for Tsion, Aman and Ben last week.  Nothing fancy, just a nice dinner out to celebrate.  And on Wednesday we will celebrate Zeri and Ben's third "gotcha day" with dinner at the Pizza Hut buffet - that is their request.  Sounds good to me!  I don't know if it is harder to believe that it has only been one year and three years, or that it has been one year and three years.  I cannot imagine life without a single one of our kids, and they are all doing so well overall.  We have the general struggles that all parents have, but really nothing unusual, and our kids know how much we love them, through the good times and the bad.  We are so blessed, and we know it.

I am in total denial that my first baby is going to be 16 very, very soon.  Ugh.  I was just remembering him as a baby the other night as I drove home with him.  This big, gangly boy, taller than me by several inches at least, turning into a man right before my eyes.  How does this happen?  Wow.

I remember my trip cross country, pregnant with him, a single mom, hoping I was going to be good for him, that I could do everything he needed, going home to be by family.  We needed more than just I could give him.  The moment I saw that positive pregnancy test, I knew that I had made the last mistake that I would do carelessly and that from then on, what I did was not about me, it was about that innocent child I carried.  He came first, before I ever saw his little face.  He turned my life around, away from selfishness, back to my faith and God, and into reality.  It was no longer a game.  And it turned into the best thing ever.

We were so very blessed.  God gave me the best husband ever, and he wasted no time in doing that.  I am so lucky.  God sure is something else!

Well, time to sleep! I will be cleaning and reorganizing and getting us back into our groove.

Oh, by the way, I took the first digger in a while - silly me.  The three year old mule that has only been sat on a couple times was out in the pasture.  Well, I decided to climb on.  Got on too fast, too hard, and she took off at a trot and me grabbing onto her mane to stay on bareback didn't help things any.  I wisely decided to disembark before her freaked out trot became a full fledged panicked gallop across the pasture.  By the way, she is tall.  The ground is hard, and I had my hands so tightly wound into her mane that in order to get my fingers free, I took a big hunk of her beautiful black mane with me.  Oh, well!  Thankfully, I didn't give myself anything more than an ache or two (mostly from my fingers) - oh and to make it worse - I lasted right in a fresh pile of manure!  Several acres of pasture, most of it very free of odoriferous material, and I landed right in a fresh pile, and managed to coat one whole leg.  It was very funny, once I convinced hubby and kids that I really was just fine.  So, I can scratch that off my list for the year!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Good Friday!

It is a special day as we consider all our Lord has done for us. However, our day here hasn't been all that out of the ordinary, maybe sad to say.

The usual chores, getting moving on things, animal chores, kid care, school and learning, and a short stint at work for me.

We did have friends stop by this afternoon - it was such a beautiful day and the kids got to ride the pony (if they wanted to), jump on the trampoline, find eggs and play with baby goats. That was great fun! AND, I got to snuggle with their almost three month old baby, which was awesome!!! Love those baby snuggles!

My thoughtful part of the post is a request for input. There is always a lot of talk this time of year about how we are saved by God's grace, by Jesus' sacrifice. That that and that alone is our salvation, that nothing we can do can make us deserving, as we have all fallen short of the glory of God. "For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men."
Titus 2:10-12

Absolutely, totally get that. No matter what I do, how hard I try, I cannot live a sinless life. I am human and it just isn't possible. Thankful for grace here, the gift that I cannot earn or ever deserve.

However, there is also that bit about "faith without works is dead". James 2:14-26
"14What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. "

Okay, so the dispute I have heard in circles is that it just doesn't matter what we do.

I would have to say "yes" and "no" and always have, but have never quite been able to say why, beyond because I believe that given the gift of salvation, we really should do something about it. Not that we have to, but we SHOULD.

So, I have been listening to lots of books on tape or CD as I drive lately, and my favorites by far are CS Lewis and John Piper, though I admit, I really have to think things through, but both are very challenging!

Well, John Piper was discussing justification and sanctification.

Justification is a declaration of innocence. Jesus went before us to plead our case to God, upon our request for salvation, and we were declared innocent, cleansed, wiped clean. Justified means declared innocent in a court.

Well, then, so we are justified upon our salvation and requesting Jesus's salvation and turning our lives to Him. That I could follow.

Sanctification is becoming more and more Christ-like. It is a process we all go through in our faith walk, or at least we should. God changes us to become more like Him, if we allow. Got it.

So, back to the faith versus works debate. I had a light bulb moment that really made things make sense to me. Feel free to jump in and tell me what you think, but maybe I finally just got it.


We are Justified by Grace. We are Sanctified through Works.

God's grace is the only thing that can save us, the only thing that can declare us clean and worthy. Because face it, we aren't.

But then in order to become more and more Christ-like, to go further in our faith walk, we must work. And everyone's work is different as God has made each of us different. But we MUST actively do something. So, that is how Faith without Works is dead. We still have the Grace, but we haven't moved farther down the lane to all that God has designed. If we don't do the works, we are still saved, God still loves us, it is all there. We don't lose it. But we do lose the opportunity to become more Christlike and in God's image, which is ultimately what we desire.

Let me know if you think I am making sense from a theological perspective, but I think it fits with what scripture says. I think it makes sense to me. It certainly explains a lot to me, but then I am generally a works based person anyway (my love language is definitely service!).

Long days, long season

You ever have one of those seasons that you know must just be gotten through, but the getting through gets so tiresome? I think that sums up where we are right now. Good news and bad news. Can I start with the bad news?

Just crummy hours over booked, overworked and no way out. I think that covers it. I know, I know, I know why we are doing this, and it is working - we are watching the adoption fees owed go down day by day nearly. But did you ever reach a point where you just didn't think you could make your self do it one more time? Yeah, that is it. Maybe it is spiritual warfare, but I am the rat stuck in the wheel and very tired. Looking forward to seeing that ZERO balance due and then I am so much done!!!!

The good news, which is actually really, really good.

On a health front, we finally got in to a doctor who knew what was making our youngest repeatedly sick and the cure did not involve surgeries and likely not even medications!!! Praise God. We are working on that and seeing progress already!!! Whoo-hoo! Wish we had seen this same doctor six months ago (and several thousand dollars ago).

And older daughter who had broken the top of her tibia, in her knee, on Good Friday, is finally weight bearing and seeing progress now that she can do that!! Again, great news. We will be taking her to physical therapy for quite some time (add that to the intensity) as we have been, but it will get better!

The four kids who are playing soccer this year - the only one who didn't want to play broke her knee to make sure mom and dad didn't try to convince her! LOL! Not really, but is is a funny coincidence. Anyway, soccer practice starts this week, and of the four kids, we had three pairs of cleats that fit our rapidly growing crew!!! Whoo-hoo again!!! Only one pair to buy! Whoo-hoo! And the excitement of soccer is huge! This soccer mom sort of cringes as we have four kids on three teams, but it is also so much fun!!! Hooray for soccer season - now the kids can quit counting down and making me loony!

The silly chickens are very prolific as are our milking goats so that really adds to the family larder! The chickens are free range - their eggs are so much tastier and healthier - but the downside is that it is a daily egg hunt!!! And when the egg count dwindles, it means that they have found a new hiding spot!!! LOL! Five kids are really good, but those chickens are amazing!! The count has been down the last couple days (over ten a day, but down from the 15 to 20 we had been getting) so we knew that they had found another spot! The two eldest were dispatched to go hunt! Mighty hunters found 38 eggs in addition the the usual!! Whoo-hoo!!!!!! We left one small nest in a good spot so hopefully the hen will raise a batch of chicks for us! It is so cute to have the little peepers wandering around and then growing into good layers (or dinner) for us! The egg hunt will continue - it adds to the adventure! And having goat milk again is so nice! I forgot how much I missed fresh milk!

Our fundraisers for the adoption have been wonderful, doing well. I don't know what we will do next but we finished our donut sales and will be selling daylillies a friend cleared out of her garden! If you are in the area and want daylillies, they are huge and we have about 80 of them!!!! We don't have a set price, just are accepting donations - so you name what you can afford and I will get them to you!!! LOL! What a great gift! It has been encouraging in a tiring time to have some support - oh, and two families have asked us to help them find out about adoption and to get started!!!! I am so excited! We meet with one family next week and I can lay out all that we have done, the requirements and all! Our greatest hope, beyond getting all our kids under one roof, is that we can somehow help others to adopt or to consider adopting a child who needs a loving family. I am so excited that we can do this!!! So, we are on top of the world about that all!

We go to Department of Homeland Security on Wednesday for our fingerprinting appointments for Immigration approval. That is Zeri's birthday so we are taking a family outing and going to an Ethiopian restaurant there!!!! Yummy!!!! And, finally, our documents from the Secretary of State have come back authenticated!!!! Really, really fast!!! Last night I so happily assembled our dossier and contacted the courier company!!! I emailed them and gave my cell number, asking if anyone by chance was in to call me any time day or night on that phone. And about 11 this morning (Sunday) I got a call from them!!! They were able to explain what we needed to do, that it actually would cost less than we had thought, and that once we get it to them, it can be done and on its way to our adoption agency in 48 hours, so it should be there before the end of the week!!!! Whoo-hooo!!!! Praise God!!! This is all going so fast!!!! I am hopeful that the dossier can be in Ethiopia before the end of the month, and on its way being translated!!! We could be looking at a potential court date in June, maybe July (hopeful for June!!!). I am so excited!!! We got new photos on Monday and the three kids now know each other - we have several photos of the three together!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! So, that is my hysterical excited rant on this end. Now we just need to pray that God will help us get the funds in time!!! No hyperventilating allowed! I hate that part. I know we can get it done, it is going so much faster than we had ever even hoped!!! Maybe soon we will have our children home!!!! God is good!

So, life will continue its current craziness, but the end is in sight - though I don't know when yet.

Shout to the Lord!

I was really struck today, sort of out of the blue. Thank goodness, not by a flying ball, a kicking horse, or anything like that, but instead by sheer gratitude. You know, some days I am so absorbed in what the day to day needs of my family's life are, that I don't exactly see the big picture. Well, today the big picture hit me square between the eyes.

I have been in a season of really working to find my way in our new family constellation, to complete all that must be done, and to get ahead - not financially, but I would be thankful for getting ahead on the laundry!!! LOL! At least now it is generally closer to caught up. And I sometimes actually do have dinner thought out prior to throwing it together, I do actually have a plan in mind, with all the ingredients, before five minutes to wanting to put it on the table. Now if someone wanted to take me out for Chinese food or something, I would be thrilled to put my plans away for later (hint, hint). Though on the other hand, way out here in the boonies there are no wonderful Chinese restraunts. So that saves the budget and my waistline! But I digress. The point is, I have been busy in DOING all that needs to be done.

No, that does not mean all my dishes are done, or that my kitchen floor doesn't need a good wash. Not by a long shot. But I am getting things somewhat feeling like they are in a rhythm. And learning to be a mom to three boys (increased from just one) and two girl, all ages 8 to 13, so three are hitting puberty hard at the same time. Whew! Two boys comparing fuzz on their lips - just wait Mom, look in the sunlight, if I tilt my head just right! And one girl having places growing and curving that Mom and Dad really weren't ready for!!! And all the entailing hormones and drama. Whew. And the little two, both eight (boy and girl for anyone who doesn't already know) are now glued at the hip for most things. They are currently outside making a jumprope out of old twine from the hay bales - good recycling!

But it has been a season where I am doing and doing. And loving it, but sometimes you get so involved in the day to day that you forget the big picture. Even when you lived it.

Two of my sons are adopted from Ethiopia, a wondrous and beautiful country full of heritage and strength. Did you know that Ethiopia is the only African country never colonized? Yep! They were invaded by Italy early in this century and they were overwhelmed for a bit, and then chased those Italians out. No slam on the Italians, but kudos to the Ethiopians, who were definitely the underdogs. And Ethiopia was linked to Israel and the house of Solomon from the time of the Queen of Sheba and King Solomon. Yep, the Queen was from what we now call Ethiopia! And their son was the first of the ruling line. Until just recently their royal house was supposedly a direct line from those two ancient figures. The Ethiopian script looks much like Hebrew to me, and much of the language is considered a Semetic language. They are a very Christian nation, mixed now with Muslim, but a larger percentage Christian than any other African nation. OK, enough history and stuff. Here in American we have seen the photos, videos from Ethiopia from the 1980's and on. How many of us don't have seared into our memories the starving children from Ethiopia? Other African nations as well.

So, we have such mixed messages. But much of the sadness is true. I read and learned before I went, and I just thought I was prepared. But, the reality and the enormity was just beyond words. Again I digress.

We have a long story about how we came to adopt internationally, mostly an amazing testimony to the strength and power of our Lord, because this was surely not our plan, and surely beyond what we could do. But the story of seven orphans came to the attention of a member of our church, who mentioned it in one small bit of the end of a message to the church. Fast forward to me, homeschooling, homesteading, Wisconsin girl, never left the US, on a plane to Ethiopia! I have to tell you I spent a great deal of time asking God how this was happening. It was surreal. Believe it or not, I was in Germany (yeah, Eric, I know, you go there all the time!) for a bit, then on another plane with a quick stop in Khartum Sudan (held my breath the entire time while we watched huge anti aircraft guns around the airport, UN trucks and a UN compound, and many many soldiers with machine guns), and then on to Addis Ababa Ethiopia. What was I doing there???

I am not a hero, I did not rescue my sons, I did not take pity on anyone. I would say that we did see a need and felt called to it. But, over and over I tell people, we got the greatest blessing (sometimes very loud and even aggravating), but truly we got the best of the bargain. How it all came about was so far beyond what we could do, so many people helped to make it possible. And now I have two very dark sons mixed in with our other children. And it is a blessing, even when it is a challenge. And it is a challenge. But, it is the greatest honor in the world being the mother of all these children.

It really struck me when someone linked me to Idol Gives Back 2008 where the Idols sang Shout to the Lord. First of all that it was sung so beautifully on national television!!! Praises! But also as they share the needs and the photos, I see in my mind my trip. I see those so many who have so many needs the world over. I have to admit that it really pulls on my heart to see children who look like my sons who are in need. How could it not? It reminds me that my life is about something bigger. Much bigger. SomeOne thought I could do this, with His help. (Not perfectly or without mistakes by the way!) We can do this. There is so much need. In our towns, our states, our country, our entire world. Somehow or another our path has taken a turn I never would have guessed at. But our lives, all of us, can make a difference. God asks us to. And it doesn't have to be flying to the other side of the world!!! LOL! I am so humbled and grateful that God has blessed me with this calling. It is my calling, I am definitely best at this, but that does not mean every moment of every day. And each and every day I have to ask God for the strength to do this wisely, as He would have me to. I do want to improve each and every day. But we are all part of something bigger and wider.

Makes my dirty kitchen floor not quite so depressing, doesn't it?

Sometimes it takes something that reaches out to touch us, to really strike us, to remind us that we are more than laundry, dishes, meals, lessons, sweeping. We are beings called by God to His missions, and each one is different. For someone who doesn't believe in God, well, this may be a way that I try to make myself feel more important. Maybe so. Maybe it does give me a way to feel that I impact things. I can accept that. But I also know that it is more than that. It is more than that for all my children, not just those that we adopted, not just those that we loved and fostered. I hope that God used us to weave into the big tapestry. I hope that He can use me, small person that I am, to do something lovely for Him.

So, this is the YouTube post of that wonderful song from American Idol. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chXEraRnE4o&NR=1
Check it out and let God speak to you however He might. Sometimes it feels that He is silent, sometimes we just aren't listening. He is in the whispers, in the daily small evidences. And He is in the big things.
Love to all!