The Egg of Hope


January 21, 2019

Let me tell you a story. Because, well, I like telling stories. And like much of what matters to me, it revolves around farm life and life lessons. So, I’m going to introduce you to the Egg of Hope.

My coworkers, were they reading this, would likely be laughing at just the title. Because they have put up with me and my “hopeful eggs” for years. Each year, at approximately the same time, I come in wildly excited about an egg. Yep, an egg. None of them are farm kids or have chickens, so this is quite novel to them. But this egg, in what feels like the dead of winter, is a hallmark of hope and of spring and brings me immense joy and excitement. Let me tell you why…

In the natural order of things, chickens egg production is ruled by the length of daylight. I firmly believe that this is an excellent way that God gave our hens to have a period of rest and renewal. In a typical year, a hen will lay about five eggs a week, not quite one a day, with production peaking in the longest days of the summer. As the year progresses and the days shorten, the production slows down and finally, usually in late November or early December, my chickens stop laying eggs altogether. If you pay attention, production very closely follows the hours of daylight each day. As they shorten, so does the egg production lessen. It makes sense to me. Our birds need to store up energy and fat for winter and conserve their resources. Don’t we all do that? Certainly, I watch my horses do the same as they grow their thick winter coats and pad on a few more pounds as the days get colder.

Well, even though the days remain cold and even get much colder, there comes a day, usually in mid-February, where I find an egg in the nesting box when I tend to the chickens. I don’t really want to embarrass myself, but in all honesty, I spend time in the henhouse thanking the chickens, holding that one pitiful little egg reverently in my palm. My day will be colored with joy and hope, and I tend to make my friends and coworkers crazy as I tell them that I found the first egg of the year. I am sure they think it is a bit nuts to be so excited about one little egg when I can certainly buy an entire dozen at the store at any time. But, this egg is significant, and here is why…

This egg, this first egg, deep in what feels like the middle of winter in our cold Wisconsin climate, tells us that even though we cannot see it, spring is coming.

It tells me that even though I cannot feel it, warmer days are coming.

It tells me that my birds, created by God to follow the seasons in ways that I don’t intuitively do, know that spring is coming and they are getting ready. See, they feel the hope and promise long before I do, long before it is evident.

This egg, this one measly egg, is held in my gloved hand, with a scarf around my neck, heavy coat and boots on, as I am fully geared to deal with the harsh elements. But this miraculous egg tells me that soon the sun will feel warm, I will shed the heavy clothing and be able to see buds on the trees and shoots coming up from my flower beds. I can’t see it yet, and it will still take time, but it is coming and there is actual PROOF.

So, as you walk a dark and difficult season of life, as it seems like it may never end, keep your eyes open for your own egg of hope. It doesn’t mean that this season is over, or that it is less painful, but the truth is that spring is going to come. It will, even if you cannot see it today. My chickens know it, and they foretell it each and every year for me. Hold onto whatever it might be that gives you a moment of hope and comfort. Choose small things that bring you comfort and peace. Each of those little things builds on each other and can help you get through until full spring arrives. Hold onto your faith, even if it is by the tips of your fingers because it will carry you through. The God of creation promises that spring will come. Each spring looks different and may come in with a storm of early March, or it may come in softly like a breath of spring air, but it will come. You do not walk alone, though you may not think you see it.

Just like that first egg promises that an unseen spring is coming, there are small things that will herald your coming spring. I choose to cradle that little, pitiful egg with sheer reverence and keep it in mind as I go about my days in the darkness and cold of winter. Just thinking of it brings me an internal feeling of warmth and hope and carries me through. After 12 years of raising chickens on our little hobby farm, that simple egg every year reminds me that God is always here and every year spring comes. In the darkness of difficult relationships, heartbreak and tragedy, there is at some point a little egg. I am slowly learning to find those little promises and enjoy even the difficult times.

Today is mid-January, and it is bitter, bitter cold here. Today I found an egg. This is early in the season, and likely there will be very few if any, eggs to be found for the next month or so, but after the last few weeks, I was struggling to find any hope. And today, God gave me an egg. That egg is a promise.

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Gideon and the fleece.

I don't know if you are familiar with the story of Gideon and the fleeces in the book of Judges in the Bible.  But basically, Gideon was a chicken of a man whom God called to be a "mighty warrior".  Needless to say, Gideon was a bit skeptical.  (I am totally paraphrasing by the way, any errors are entirely mine.)

Well, Gideon prayed to God and said "If this is from you, then the sheep fleece that I put out on the ground will not be covered with dew in the morning though all around it will be."  And so it was.  And then he put out a fleece again, saying "God, if this is from you, then the fleece will be wet with dew in the morning, and all around it will be dry.".  Again, I may have my paraphrasing wrong, but it is basically the same.  I am tired, I know I have the gist of it right, and it is too late and there is too much to tell you to go look it up.

Basically, Gideon challenged God to show that the message that Gideon got was of God, not of Gideon's own imagination.

So, today, I have spent a lot of time driving in order to work.  We live in WI and I today worked in MI.  So I spent lots of time on the road - hence lots of time to think and to listen to tapes and music and what not. 

I was listening to a great series by Joyce Meyer.  Included in there was about hearing from God.

In the last few weeks, it has become apparent that although it makes perfect sense in the world's economy for me to work outside the home, that it makes no sense for our family and is actually costing us more than we are gaining.  Again, makes no sense in the world's economy - stands to reason that working outside the home should help us - right? 

Today, while listening to lots of teachings, I "threw out the fleece".  I know that we are not to challenge God, but once again, we are considering stepping outside of what makes sense to "the world".  And it is scary! 

So, I told God (as I was driving) that I really needed to hear from Him.  That He needed to provide for our family, to lay the way if we are to adopt this baby that the birthmom is considering us for.  In the world's economy, it makes no sense.  We would need about $7000 in about six to eight weeks.  Needless to say, we don't have it, are still paying off the bathroom and half of beef, and hay.  And my job is coming to an end after nine months at the end of this month. 

So, in the world's economy, we should be up a creek without a paddle.

And in God's economy, this is nothing.

I am trying not to stress as I really like to be in control (big surprise there!).  And I want to be self sufficient, to do it all myself.

But my kids need me at home, to guide them as they are teenagers and approaching, and we really have so much to offer!!!! 

Well, to try to cut to the chase:
I threw out the fleece, asking God directly to send some provision, what we need, not only on a daily basis, but for these huge things.

I have a hard time with this, because I don't want to "challenge" God or "put him to the test", but I also know that I REALLY want to know that I am hearing Him and not imagining things.

So, I threw out the fleece in my prayers today.

At 9:45 PM the phone rang at our house.  That is unusual.

Thankfully, it wasn't bad news.

It was a neighbor we have never met before, though we know his place because we drive by his house regularly and "he has the beagles".  Everything we all remember seems to be centered around animals!

Well, he was at a graduation party (or had one, I was never really clear on that), and they had LOTS of booyah left over. 

The fellow that we pick gourds for in the fall mentioned us to him.  Again, not really sure how this all happened.  How they were all together, or how our name came up - or even how he got our number!!!

But he was calling us to see if we would accept booyah for our family, and that he ran charters for fishing on Lake Michigan, and would like to take us out fishing!!!!

WE HAVE NEVER MET THIS MAN BEFORE!!!!!

So, at about 10:30 PM a wonderful gentleman named Paul pulled up with EIGHT GALLONS of wonderful booyah, and a container of baked beans and a container of a pasta salad.

Literally, as he pulled up, Steve and I were working on menus for the week!!!  I try to lay things out so it is in order for the week and good use of our resources! 

I was so numb as we thanked him over and over and visited with him.  Paul was truly an angel, a messenger of God when we needed some encouragement.  I am totally numb still, in awe and wondering what God has in store for us yet?????  I am so thankful for wonderful food to feed our growing crew!  What a huge blessing, but generally, what a HUGE hug from God!!!!

And honestly, the thought of taking the kids fishing on Lake Michigan is something we never dreamed of being able to afford to do, though it was one of those things on the "bucket list"!!!!!

I have spent most of the last hour or so generally trying NOT to cry, and trying not to be frightened of what else God might do!!!  Talk about our kids seeing God's hand in their lives!!!

I wrote a thank you note that we will drop by Paul's house (mailbox) as we go by tomorrow morning on our way to church - don't want to get him up that early!!!  I know that he has no way of knowing where we were at in our lives today, but what a direct message from God his actions were!!! 

I want to encourage you, if you feel God calling to you, no matter how little sense it may seem to make to you, please respond - you never know what your actions may mean to someone else, what message you are taking to someone else.  God may use you in ways you can never imagine, and the ripples you may never see, but they are there. 

Thank you God, for delivering meals to my family, for showing us how you care for our littlest needs, as well as our largest!

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

An interesting blog

Hi all,
I follow a bunch of blogs, I have found it to be very addictive and very informative, and came across this posting in one of my favorite bloggers:
Painfull parenting....when you don't 'feel' love for a child.

We face many times when we are asked if we met our children before we adopted them, and what if we decided we didn't like them. It is a question that makes sense and yet doesn't. I get what people are asking. I really do. But, I never met my bio kids before I birthed them and no, I don't always like them. I ALWAYS love them, but I don't always like what we are struggling through, or one has a habit that particularly annoys me some times. Anyway, you get my point. It is the same with our adopted children. God put them in our family. We truly believe that God orchestrated the constellation of our family. And if He did that, well, then, who really cares if I like them. Now, to tell you the truth, I do like them, every last child in my home. Not every minute of every day. Not tonight when two of my sons (I will leave it to you to guess which two - the advantage of having more than two, they get some anonymity) were discovered to be spraying silly string in their bedroom. Did you know that a mother's hearing can correctly identify the sound of spraying silly string from one floor below, even though she had forgotten that there was even any in the house? You have to understand, we have a rule about silly string. It is not allowed to be sprayed in the house. I am not a clean freak, not even close (but for heaven's sake, the house was just absolutely spotless for the homestudy adoption agency to visit us today - let it last more than five hours!!!), but one rule I stick by is that silly string is an outside toy. I have visions of cats, dogs, guinea pigs and siblings covered in the crazy stuff. No thank you, it is easier to clean up outside, thank you very much. A great outside toy, definitely not an inside toy. So, needless to say, Mom was not thrilled with two of her sons. Now, on a positive note, they seem to have learned that honesty goes a long way towards appeasing Mom in any situation - score one! But, ugh. So, I guess Mom is off dish duty for the week - I had better cook a ton and take advantage of it, and my floors will be washed one room at a time for the week. But, there was no yelling, no upset, just stern discussion about the rules (which were known and repeated to us - guess boys just didn't figure in supersonic "mom" hearing) and then some consequences for bad choices (still they maintain that this isn't how the nice brown curtain got silly string on it, but we all know better than that).

So, no, we don't have to like our children all the time, no matter how they came to us. But regardless of how we like them, we always love them. Love is unconditional and it is a verb. No one ever said you had to feel like it! Maybe that is something we are missing in our culture's relationship with love. It is based on feelings rather than doing. How I feel about things is quite often simply irrelevant. What I do is never irrelevant. And many times it is simply a conscious choice.

So, as we prepare to add two more boys to our family constellation, it is good to be reminded that this is a choice. Love is a choice. Because God first loved us, we must love others. Doesn't mean we have to like them. It does mean we have to act on it. I wonder how I will feel about these boys? Right now I have to admit that at times I am scared to death, but what prospective parent isn't, whether through birth or adoption? And I know that this too will pass. I will get to know these wonderful children, children that God made, and is seeing fit to place within our family. What an honor that He would entrust them to us. I hope I can live up to it, but I know that I can do nothing without Him. With Him, I can do anything He has called me to!