Everyday mission field

So, tonight I am writing to you from my littlest girls bedroom.  They are supposed to be settling down to sleep, and with all the newness in their lives as well as our own philosophy of parenting (more like attachment parenting than any other term I have heard) we sit with them, on the floor as they are in their beds, while they fall asleep.

Honestly, it is the same thing we did with our homegrown kiddos too.  Just feels better to us.  They know we are here, they are safe, and that it is time to sleep.  So, I sit on my laptop writing, or facebooking, or playing solitare, or even reading my Kindle (which I totally love, me, the non-gadget queen has now admitted that one of the best gifts my hubby ever gave me, except for my kids, and my ruby, is that Kindle.  I LOVE IT!!!).

Anyway, I don't sit still well, which you have noticed if you know me.  At least not while I still have some energy, and falling asleep on the hardwood floor, just doesn't seem like something I want to do!  So, I sit here and keep myself busy and remind the toddlers that it is time to go to sleep.

They do drop off, eventually.  Some days faster than others.  Today Kahsu did not take a good nap, so she is already asleep.  Azeb now has the upper respiratory thing we all had, and do is more restless, though a bit easier to manage as she has less energy!  I just gave her some oils to help her breathe better so I think she will rest well overall.  But she tends to toss and turn until she gives in to sleep.  She knows if she holds still for more than a minute she will be off to dreamland, and she just isn't ready to let go yet.  She certainly does live life to the fullest!!!

There are so many things on my mind tonight.  We are in such a stage of life.  We knew we would be, but the reality of living it out is always different than what you project.

Our eldest, Alex, is gone to Lifest, a Christian music festival - a couple cities away, until Sunday night.  The band he is in, Sanctify, is amazing and a great group of kids - in fact, can I just marry him off to their drummer, Ory, who I adore???  LOL!  Yeah, probably not, but it is a great group of kids.  The three guys and Ory.  Sanctify won the opportunity to be in the talent competition at Lifest - nine bands got to go, by popular vote, and this is huge around here.  We are so excited for him!  The opportunity this is, is unbelievable.  I cannot even put it into words.  I don't know what God is going to do with this, but I know amazing things are going to happen.  We shall see, but they are really moving forward in the music world.  Who knew when that five year old wanted to learn to play guitar, that this might be part of the result?  It is hard to imagine Alex being such an almost adult, and amazing opportunities opening up for him.  Isn't he still that tow headed toddler crawling all over?  Now the man is taller than me, has to bend down to hug me.  Yikes.

Zeri is talking about looking into the military, and will talk with recruiters from all the branches over the course of the summer.  He is just seventeen, and a junior this year, so has some time, but he is really looking into it.  I can see where it would be a great thing for him.  Scary and wonderful to talk about - yet another man-child who is taller than me.  They seem to keep doing that.  I cannot wait to see where life is going to take him!

Kiley just got the call that she has been accepted as a youth rider for a huge dressage barn in Illinois.  The woman who owns it, runs it, is one of her heroes.  We are just blown away.  She was nominated by her trainer, and accepted.  Right now we are trying to sort out how and when to get her down there and get things going.  Her diabetes adds challenges, but it is just one more thing we will problem solve for her so she can get where she wants to go in life.  This is huge.  As big as being accepted to college on full scholarship.  I cannot express it.  We are all stunned, excited, thrilled, scared and all that.  God has a plan for this child.  She works so hard, knows the value, and gets the most out of every experience.

Aman is working at his first job, at the same place Zeri works, and they work hard.  They work at a mink ranch down the road.  After seeing all the bites on my boys, even with all their protective gear, I no longer have any empathy for folks you don't like the use of fur.  Those animals are MEAN!!!!!  They both come home, stinking to high heaven, give me their work clothes, take intense showers and then are fit for human company.  I worked at the pickle factory for a while and this rivals that.  I remember working nights, and my mom would leave my bathrobe in the garage so I could change out there, leave my clothes out there and head for the showers.  This is just as bad.  Wow.  But the boys work hard, enjoy the results of hard work (and the paycheck) and the respect of their boss.  So it is all good. They really earn every penny!!!

I am glad that some of the kids are still a bit more low key.  Younger, more time at home, still checking life out.  Though now that they are twelve and thirteen, lots is going on for them too.  Ben and Solly are playing summer soccer and their team is undefeated. They help Kiley and I at the horse stable in order to earn their cellular phones.  So, four days a week they are cleaning stalls with us, hauling hay, sweeping up and what not.  They have learned a lot.  Solly is now taller than I am, and Ben is rapidly catching up - I can see him preparing for his growth spurt - he is just about ready to go straight up.  Zeri and Solly are about the same size now.  Alex is still taller, Aman is in the running with Zeri and Solly, and thankfully the girls have slowed for a bit.  Kiley is not quite as tall as me, and hasn't grown taller in the last six months. She is glad for that as she was afraid she was going to be nearly six feet like her aunt, but I think she is just about done.  Faith is ramping up her growing and may end up taller than me and her eldest sister, as she is only twelve.  Tsion is righ there with Faith but I have no idea where she is going height wise.  She certainly looks her age at thirteen and we are having a great time finding her fun and fashionable clothes that compliment her beauty.  I am glad that Faith, Tsion, Solly and Ben are still at home more often than not, and then change in dynamics is neat to see as they grow and their elder siblings are off on their own more.  Faith is our dog trainer (blue ribbons at fair with her dog, DeeDee), Tsion is our fashion girl, Ben is our funny boy, and Solly our gangly engergizer bunny.  I wonder what God has in store for them in the next few years?

Azeb and Kahsu are settling in well.  They are close in age, eleven months apart, closer than any toddlers we have ever had in our home, and the dynamics are interesting.  Right now they are competing for EVERYTHING! The favorite broom at the stable, every inch of Mommy's skin (seriously, who can touch more of Mommy at one time???), the favorite milk cup, and on and on.  And yet, then they turn and hug each other and tell each other "lub yu" while pretending to go "bye-bye".  It is exhausting and wonderful and maddening and great, and the best thing ever, and exhausting.....  I wouldn't change a thing except to add six more hours of uninterrupted sleep to every night.  I have to admit that when they nap, I sometimes do too, and it is down time for the other kids.  And yet to see my huge sons totally wrapped around their littlest sisters fingers, well, it is priceless. Tonight Zeri told us that he is total "toast" when Kahsu turns on her adorable smile -which she certainly does when she wants her way, or knows that she is just being over the top.  And Kiley is totally smitten with Azeb, which is amazing considering how crazy Azeb can make her.  And yet, when I am at the end of my rope, she is able to step in and love on her difficult little sister, in a very practical way.  God has a plan.

So, we are a family of twelve.  Ten children, parents very outnumbered.

I realized today as I was reading a great book on my Kindle - of course all I remember is that it is titled "Passport to Darkness" - and my Kindle is downstairs - remember, I am sitting in a dark room, getting my toddlers safely off to dreamland?  She talks about the calling to the mission field in SUDAN, yikes, of all places.  She is talking about taking that huge step, selling all they own, turning it all over to God.  She talked about walking that out, and for the first time in a long time, I could relate.  We have given up EVERYTHING for our mission.  Agree with us or not.  There were children who needed a family, God laid it out very clearly and we said "yes".

There is a cost.  It is huge.  We are working out refinancing our home, we are still repaying loans we took to bring out kids home, we are juggling so much, and still determined to make life happen as it should for each and every child that God has placed in our home.  We are NOT an  orphanage.  We are a FAMILY.  I have been wanting to talk to people who have said "yes".  Not about the saying "yes" part, but the daily living it out.  Some days, we feel alone and abandoned.  Really, who can relate to a family with TEN kids - very few.  We chose to add disabilities and challenges to our lives.  All God did was ask.  We said yes.  We aren't heroes, we aren't missionaries, we are just people living out the day to day of saying "yes" to God.  He didn't promise it would be easy, in fact, we were always very clear that He promised it would be hard.  And it is.  But it is beautiful.  Most times, some of the time, overall.  It is hard.

Foolishly, or not so foolishly, I had thought that I would be able to return to working on weekends to help make ends meet. That is NOT the case, given the girls needs.  That is okay, just a challenge.  Okay, right now a big challenge, but we have faith that God will see us through, and we keep doing each step that we can see.  I do see a private client, I am getting crafty, and boy am I getting good at feeding a family of twelve on about six hundred dollars a month!  We are creative, we juggle, we adjust.  It is what it is.  It is part of what God seems to have called us to.  Yes, some days I really, really want to hear that earth-shaking voice of God telling me that the Lottery is just around the corner or something, and yet the continual voice in my head keeps saying "write" and so I do.  I don't know how God is going to work it all out, but we do everything we can think of and more.  Someone mentioned to me today that we are on the mission field right where we live - every little thing to care for everyone, to love them, to be family - who knows what might have happened, and honestly, I cannot even go there in my mind as I look at my kids.

So, no, we aren't a recognized mission field, but maybe, just maybe, to God we are.  Maybe my mission field isn't washing the floor, but ministering day in and day out to the kids.  If these kids were still without families and in another country, would doing what I am doing with them be considered a mission field?  Yep.  So is it any different because they are now MY children?  Nope.

You have no idea how much I needed to realize that.  I love each and every one of my kids just as if they were birthed out of my own body and pain, and let me tell you, international adoption affected my own body and had enough pain of its own!!!  Some days I feel like I am just a mom, and odd mom, and no one can relate.  When we were striving so hard to bring the kids home, it was easier to explain.  Now it if feeding, clothing, teaching, nurturing, loving, and training up in the Lord.

We did say yes when God asked us.  We would not say no.  We have determined that, which is why, even though we cannot imagine adding to our family, we still won't say "never again".  See, we tried to do that after our third homegrown child was born, and we have come to see how time and growth changes that answer.  So, we won't say it.  Yes, we are tired and cannot imagine.  On the other hand, two of our kids are seventeen and em barking on their own lives in the next year or two, one the year after, and one two years after that.  And four two years after that.  Time changes many things.  So to try to see into the future, I just won't try to do again.

I do admit that I am one exhausted mama some days.  I am forty two - forty three on Saturday, and while I am very good at juggling things, I am not twenty five anymore.  On the other hand, I know that kids grow up, and need you in different ways, and that life can throw you amazing curves.  So, I am NOT going to try to put limits on God again.  Our family will be what He has ordained it to be.  It is our mission field in and of itself.  I need to view it as that some days, especially when I am "just the mom".  God called us, we said "yes", and we are here.  It is a mission, it is hard, it is beautiful, it is challenging, we are raising children for God.  And yes, I love them to death, even when they make me crazy!!!


"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans for hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

We are getting there!

It is a cold and rainy night here and listening to the wind howl makes me very glad that I am snug and warm inside.

Just thought I would update.

Life is moving along. Soccer season has started and to coincide with that Steve (DH) and Alex (eldest son) got parts in the Dudley Birder production of The Music Man!!! So, thankfully, because Alex's part is smaller, he won't need to be at rehearsals until the end of June, so can continue soccer. Steve on the other hand, got a larger role and is now at rehearsals nightly during the week. I am so very excited for him!!! He did many musicals in high school (and somehow I only got to see the ones that he WASN'T in!!!) and sings extensively at our church and with a Christian swing band, so it is a huge part of his life!!! He is so excited, intimidated and working hard at it - what a blessing! Everyone is very excited for him and anxious to see the production!!!

Our dossier should be on it's way to Ethiopia by now, after having made the trips to the American and Ethiopian embassies in Washington DC last week. Things are moving very rapidly. In our agency, when we move beyond the document phase, we get a new caseworker, and she had been gone for the last few days, so I am anxious to get all the next details! What I understand is that the dossier will go to Ethiopia and be translated. Translation can take up to two weeks. Once that is done, our case can be submitted to court. In order to be submitted to court, we have to have the final fees paid in full. I get it. Ugh. As of Friday, we should be down to $9000, as long as the stupid brakes on the van don't cost too much! I am amazed at how fast we have been able to do this, but am now praying fervently for the final amount! I would greatly appreciate any prayers on this issue!

We did two weekends of donut sales at church, a daylilly sale, and are doing a rummage sale this weekend. Our other produce things get sent in regularly and right now there is nearly $200 waiting to be sent in. God is very faithful and has never been late. We have grant applications out there, but don't expect to hear from them anytime soon, most likely not until July or August, and by that time we hope to have the kids home or be just about to travel! Oh, well, it will perhaps repay anything we might have borrowed to get this done. If anyone wanted to assist in this, there is a button on the right hand side, and all donations are tax deductible and go directly to the agency and applied to our fees, we never even have it in our hands. I like that.

But, as it looks now, we could possibly get a late June court date, or maybe early July? That is what we are praying for. If we were to pass court on the first try, then we would travel five weeks later. I am so hopeful we can get the kids home during nice weather and settled in before winter. Also, we have met our family out of pocket deductible on our health insurance, so it sure would be nice to get all the kids in to the specialists and better medical treatment while we don't have to deal with that.

I am so very grateful for this entire experience! God is so good! I cannot explain how this has happened so fast, sometimes I have to remind myself that we committed to this in the end of January!!! My mommy heart wants these kiddos home, wants my two that need the doctors to be in and under better medical care. I want all my kids under one roof, on one continent!! LOL! What a thought.

We have been asked to be interviewed by a local paper - a small one, so no biggie. Steve will be talking to the reporter tomorrow. We just want our story to speak to other people's hearts for the waiting kids out there. What if one more could have a home and family? What if one more could get lifesaving medical care? What if one more family could be blessed? What if? I know that at some point our house and family will be full, unable to expand anymore, but how do you turn away? I don't know. I don't know if we will consider adopting again. I don't know. When is enough enough? I don't know. I think there is always more that needs to be done, but there are seasons in life. Right now, this is this particular season. I don't know how long it will last or where it will lead. I at least want to know that when I stand before my Lord that I can say "I did all that I could do" - or maybe I will just slide in and say "wow, what a ride!". LOL. Just kidding. But it seems that there is so much out there to do. God had led us on this road and we are just trying to stay walking on it, even when it is difficult to see. One step at a time. That is how we have done so many experiences - Kiley's diagnosis and dealing with diabetes, foster parenting, mentoring teen moms, our first adoption, moving to our farm and building it, and now this. Just one step at a time. There are times I wish we could jump over some spots, but that isn't possible. So, we just keep asking for God's guidance with each step and to the next one. I don't know where he will lead us, but we will follow.

Anyway, I hope you are staying warm on this rainy spring night! I will post more photos soon - it has been a busy spring! Gotta love spring on the farm - the baby goats are hysterical chasing each other around, and now a hen is sitting on some eggs so in about three weeks we should have some little peepers!!! We don't let many of our hens go broody (they want to sit on a nest and hatch them out), but now is the right time of year to do it! This way the little ones will be full grown long before cold weather and healthy to weather the winter and add to our egg laying flock! Whoo-hoo! We should have quite a flock! I so love, love, love free range eggs! Makes the extra work worth it - but the kids love the constant "easter" egg hunt! Daily! LOL!

Happy Spring and God bless!

Huh?

I am a bit confused this morning. I have a "friend" - someone I once thought a friend obviously - who is also an adoptive mom, who chose to comment on my kids in her blog. It was sad and hurtful, because she chose to say how she grieved for my kids that they left their homeland and the beautiful people there. It went on and on, and was not realistic about the life they lived there. And it was wildly hurtful to our family. Maybe I am being too sensitive, but given the events of this last weekend, our joy at our sons' friends finally being home with their forever family, it was just a very strange dichotomy.

I am trying to process this and to find the correct way to respond. The hurt heart inside me wants to strike out in anger and that is not appropriate. I want to set the record straight, but I am not at all sure that doing so in a comment on her blog would be appropriate.

And perhaps because we adopted older children, our experience is different and not so romanticized.

Don't get me wrong, I love Ethiopia. It is a beautiful place, with beautiful amazing people and an amazing culture. But I cannot look away from the things my sons tell me about things that are not so glorious. A child beaten and robbed of his shoes at 9, a boy locked out from his little hut for days at a time until his father finally arrived home drunk, a child scared and alone, hungry and unsure what was going to come next. Children whose parents died, whose older siblings, no more than children themselves, without any means of support, were trying to keep fed. Children for whom their only hope was the street, no food, no clothing, no nothing. People chewing leaves that were drugs, simply to keep the hunger away, but then addicted and harmed by it. I witnessed it and I do believe my sons when they share. When they open up, when the stories come, the mother in me so wishes I had been there so that didn't happen to them.

The reality of adoption is more balanced - our children's homeland and heritage is beautiful and I respect it, honor it, and welcome it into my home. And I also have to welcome my children's pasts. Their experiences, their hurts and fears.

So to hear that my children were pitied and grieved for because of what they left behind, was simply devastating. They did leave a great deal behind. They did. But it isn't gone. It lives on in them and us, and someday we all do hope to return. On the other hand, they gained a great deal. All I have to do is look at their growth charts in the few months after they came home! They are healthy, talented, valued, cherished, loved, and surrounded by a secure family that is devoted to them and their future as well as their past. They are part of a family, have parents and siblings and security.

When we were considering adopting again - particularly older children from Ethiopia again, I had a very long heart to heart with my oldest adopted son. I was very concerned - I know how hard it has been for him, all the changes, the language, the food, the culture, all of it. He has worked so very hard. I asked him very, very directly about his feelings about it. He agrees that it is hard, or as he puts it very clearly - it WAS hard. I had to fight back tears to ask him very directly if it was worth it. I had to be willing to face his answer whatever it might be. He was very surprised and went on to be very clear that it was very worth it, the best thing ever. I had to ask if he had to do it over if he would - answer was "absolutely". Knowing how hard it was, would he choose it again - yes. Would it be a good thing for another child - knowing all he knows, is it simply too hard? Too much, etc? A very sure response - it is very worth it, to have a family, to belong, to be loved. And that is what it is about.

Yes, they have "lost" some things. But they have gained a great deal.

What I grieve for for my children is that they ever were in the situation where adoption ever needed to be an option. I grieve that they went through what they went through. I grieve for all their hurts, all their past that was painful. I grieve that they ever needed to be placed for adoption. I grieve for that. That is the grief that I have for my children. Not for them coming here, not for them entering my family, not for them leaving their country.

I know that God has a plan for my children. I know that He orchestrated all things so they came to my family, to my home, at this time. I don't know why. I don't know what His plan is. That would be arrogant to even consider. But I do know that HE brought them here, that HE has a plan and a purpose. I know that HE loves them more than I ever could. I know that HE walks this road with them, with us, with the people left behind. If I get hung up in all the grief and obsession, then I am not living what God has asked me to live today. And today, I am the mom to five amazing children. I live in a house that is active, loud, loving and growing. I am so blessed to have my sons, to be stretched beyond what I ever could have imagined. God has changed us all in so many ways, we are simply nearly unrecognizable from who we once were. And I thank God for that every single day.

I don't feel that my children are to be pitied or our family to be viewed as having done something extraordinary. Our children are our children, who God made them to be, where God placed them. We didn't save our children. We didn't rescue them. Yes, their life outlooks are very different from what they might have been. Yes, I am so happy to know that my children are not going to go hungry, that they have love every day, that a mom and dad look after them, that they are healthy and strong. Children who are orphans need help - God has called us to the widow, the orphan and the fatherless, the least of these. But, my children are no longer orphans. God has lovingly placed them in families. God has provided for them.

So, I don't grieve for what they have "lost". I rejoice in who they are, in all that God has done in their lives, in all that He will do in their lives.

We serve an amazing God, one who knows the entire story, who sees it all. Someday I hope to be so honored to see how all of this has been woven into God's tapestry. It is my prayer to be a part of God's amazing work, in our own small way. I will raise my children for the Lord, in the Lord, and in love. In love and security, in faith and family, so they can go forth and carry that on in their lives. I have no idea how many lives they will all touch, how they will move the world, but I have no doubt that they will! And I am so grateful to have been a part of it.

And NO, I don't pity my children! I rejoice for them and with them.

Shout to the Lord!

I was really struck today, sort of out of the blue. Thank goodness, not by a flying ball, a kicking horse, or anything like that, but instead by sheer gratitude. You know, some days I am so absorbed in what the day to day needs of my family's life are, that I don't exactly see the big picture. Well, today the big picture hit me square between the eyes.

I have been in a season of really working to find my way in our new family constellation, to complete all that must be done, and to get ahead - not financially, but I would be thankful for getting ahead on the laundry!!! LOL! At least now it is generally closer to caught up. And I sometimes actually do have dinner thought out prior to throwing it together, I do actually have a plan in mind, with all the ingredients, before five minutes to wanting to put it on the table. Now if someone wanted to take me out for Chinese food or something, I would be thrilled to put my plans away for later (hint, hint). Though on the other hand, way out here in the boonies there are no wonderful Chinese restraunts. So that saves the budget and my waistline! But I digress. The point is, I have been busy in DOING all that needs to be done.

No, that does not mean all my dishes are done, or that my kitchen floor doesn't need a good wash. Not by a long shot. But I am getting things somewhat feeling like they are in a rhythm. And learning to be a mom to three boys (increased from just one) and two girl, all ages 8 to 13, so three are hitting puberty hard at the same time. Whew! Two boys comparing fuzz on their lips - just wait Mom, look in the sunlight, if I tilt my head just right! And one girl having places growing and curving that Mom and Dad really weren't ready for!!! And all the entailing hormones and drama. Whew. And the little two, both eight (boy and girl for anyone who doesn't already know) are now glued at the hip for most things. They are currently outside making a jumprope out of old twine from the hay bales - good recycling!

But it has been a season where I am doing and doing. And loving it, but sometimes you get so involved in the day to day that you forget the big picture. Even when you lived it.

Two of my sons are adopted from Ethiopia, a wondrous and beautiful country full of heritage and strength. Did you know that Ethiopia is the only African country never colonized? Yep! They were invaded by Italy early in this century and they were overwhelmed for a bit, and then chased those Italians out. No slam on the Italians, but kudos to the Ethiopians, who were definitely the underdogs. And Ethiopia was linked to Israel and the house of Solomon from the time of the Queen of Sheba and King Solomon. Yep, the Queen was from what we now call Ethiopia! And their son was the first of the ruling line. Until just recently their royal house was supposedly a direct line from those two ancient figures. The Ethiopian script looks much like Hebrew to me, and much of the language is considered a Semetic language. They are a very Christian nation, mixed now with Muslim, but a larger percentage Christian than any other African nation. OK, enough history and stuff. Here in American we have seen the photos, videos from Ethiopia from the 1980's and on. How many of us don't have seared into our memories the starving children from Ethiopia? Other African nations as well.

So, we have such mixed messages. But much of the sadness is true. I read and learned before I went, and I just thought I was prepared. But, the reality and the enormity was just beyond words. Again I digress.

We have a long story about how we came to adopt internationally, mostly an amazing testimony to the strength and power of our Lord, because this was surely not our plan, and surely beyond what we could do. But the story of seven orphans came to the attention of a member of our church, who mentioned it in one small bit of the end of a message to the church. Fast forward to me, homeschooling, homesteading, Wisconsin girl, never left the US, on a plane to Ethiopia! I have to tell you I spent a great deal of time asking God how this was happening. It was surreal. Believe it or not, I was in Germany (yeah, Eric, I know, you go there all the time!) for a bit, then on another plane with a quick stop in Khartum Sudan (held my breath the entire time while we watched huge anti aircraft guns around the airport, UN trucks and a UN compound, and many many soldiers with machine guns), and then on to Addis Ababa Ethiopia. What was I doing there???

I am not a hero, I did not rescue my sons, I did not take pity on anyone. I would say that we did see a need and felt called to it. But, over and over I tell people, we got the greatest blessing (sometimes very loud and even aggravating), but truly we got the best of the bargain. How it all came about was so far beyond what we could do, so many people helped to make it possible. And now I have two very dark sons mixed in with our other children. And it is a blessing, even when it is a challenge. And it is a challenge. But, it is the greatest honor in the world being the mother of all these children.

It really struck me when someone linked me to Idol Gives Back 2008 where the Idols sang Shout to the Lord. First of all that it was sung so beautifully on national television!!! Praises! But also as they share the needs and the photos, I see in my mind my trip. I see those so many who have so many needs the world over. I have to admit that it really pulls on my heart to see children who look like my sons who are in need. How could it not? It reminds me that my life is about something bigger. Much bigger. SomeOne thought I could do this, with His help. (Not perfectly or without mistakes by the way!) We can do this. There is so much need. In our towns, our states, our country, our entire world. Somehow or another our path has taken a turn I never would have guessed at. But our lives, all of us, can make a difference. God asks us to. And it doesn't have to be flying to the other side of the world!!! LOL! I am so humbled and grateful that God has blessed me with this calling. It is my calling, I am definitely best at this, but that does not mean every moment of every day. And each and every day I have to ask God for the strength to do this wisely, as He would have me to. I do want to improve each and every day. But we are all part of something bigger and wider.

Makes my dirty kitchen floor not quite so depressing, doesn't it?

Sometimes it takes something that reaches out to touch us, to really strike us, to remind us that we are more than laundry, dishes, meals, lessons, sweeping. We are beings called by God to His missions, and each one is different. For someone who doesn't believe in God, well, this may be a way that I try to make myself feel more important. Maybe so. Maybe it does give me a way to feel that I impact things. I can accept that. But I also know that it is more than that. It is more than that for all my children, not just those that we adopted, not just those that we loved and fostered. I hope that God used us to weave into the big tapestry. I hope that He can use me, small person that I am, to do something lovely for Him.

So, this is the YouTube post of that wonderful song from American Idol. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chXEraRnE4o&NR=1
Check it out and let God speak to you however He might. Sometimes it feels that He is silent, sometimes we just aren't listening. He is in the whispers, in the daily small evidences. And He is in the big things.
Love to all!