For this child I prayed....

I love this saying. I see it on adorable baby photo frames, decorative plates with little tiny footprints, all over. And each time it makes me mist up.

I think of all eight of our children. I think of how each one came to our family and how each one grew in my heart.

See, the secret is, that although three of our children grew also UNDER my heart (in my womb), each child grew in my heart long before I could touch him or her. In some ways the adoption journey is like the pregnancy journey. You wonder about all sorts of things. What he or she will sound like when you first hear their voice, what things they will like, which family member they will most resemble is some way, what they will grow up to be. All of that. I dream about the three children we are soon to bring home in some of the same ways that I dreamed of my birth children before they were born.

But this time, again, they come to us as little people with developed personalities and history and experiences. These histories can be difficult at times. I cannot tell you the times I have listened to my boys relate experiences that make me just want to cry. No child should have memories of things like that, should have experienced some of what they have experienced.

But, we are so grateful that they are here and work to teach them that they are stronger because of what they experienced. They lived through things, and they have moved on.

To watch them now, to see their strength, their joy, their resilience, and who they are becoming - all of the children, all five that I can currently see, that is the greatest blessing.

No matter whether a child is born into a family and remains in that family, or whether life throws them into a whirlwind and they end up in another family, they are who they are. I want them all to know that they belong, and they do. I watch our birth children struggle with their own issues and know that each child, no matter their history, will have their own set of struggles in life.

If as their parent, I can give them some skills to deal with these struggles in a positive and persistent way, then I think I have given them a good gift. No one is immune from struggles.

I sat with my eldest birth daughter today at yet another endocrinology appointment (diabetes). I was trying to count how many of these we have done in the last six years since her diagnosis. Every three months for six years, would probably put us at about 18, with a couple more added in when she was first diagnosed and seen more often. It becomes routine, but not routine. She was all worked up because she knew that today she would have a blood draw. She only gets these once a year, and we have numbing cream, but she has been working herself up for this for at least a month, knowing it was coming. Most days she doesn't struggle with this chronic issue - it just is what is. But sometimes these appointments really bring home that this isn't normal, that this is difficult, that this really stinks. And we both know that this will likely continue for the rest of her life, though we are praying for a cure. This is what is. She could get hung up on the issue and be wallowing in self pity, but she isn't. She won't. Not that there aren't moments, but they are generally very brief. And we deal with it and move on.

We do this with all the kids. Life happens, crummy stuff happens to everyone. It just does. No one is immune, at least no one I know. So, we need to look for the good stuff. Deal with the bad as much as we must, and then move on. I know one lady who is in her sixties, still mourning for her crummy childhood and complaining about her mother and how things could have been different and how that would have changed her life. Not to say that I don't feel for her experiences and pain, but for heaven's sake, move on! Make good choices, learn from your bad ones, learn from you bad experiences and get out there and make a great today and tomorrow! That is all that we get. At some point we need to say, "yep, that stunk, but I don't want to keep reliving it". We can chose our todays.

For this child I prayed....

For each single one.

That they will be healthy and strong, that they will love deeply and long, that they will make wise choices, thoughtful choices that will lead them to fulfillment and happiness. That they will work hard and be satisfied, no matter what they do. That they will always let their past provide them with a foundation and strength and compassion and love. That they will be faith filled, that they will know the wonders of a true relationship with their Lord. That they will never sell themselves short, that they will try many things, that they will find the true meaning in their life. That they will be kind, giving, loving, and generous people. That people will walk away from meeting them and be blessed. That whatever they do in life, that they will do it to the best of their abilities, no matter what those abilities are. That they will love us as we love them. That we will always be a close family, that we will have those ties that bind lovingly.

Those prayers we say for our unborn babies, those are the same prayers we pray for our children who have come to us through adoption. Those prayers are the same. The children, well, we may not have seen those tiny baby toes, or seen them as little ones learning to walk, but we still prayed for them for each of those things. Those deep prayers of the heart, they are the same.

I looked again at photos of our children in Ethiopia, and just had to say "we have a daughter, we have a son, we have a son". I am still in awe.

Terrified at times, but in awe.

For this child I prayed... For Alex, for Zeri, for Kiley, for Amanuael, for Solomon, for Faith, for Tsion, and for Abenezer. They have all grown in my heart long before I could touch them. For this child I prayed..... And prayed.... And prayed.....

Spring in Wisconsin

It has been a long week and a half with weather here - going from 40's, down to upper 20's and windy, to sleet, and even several inches of snow with nasty sideways wind, now up to 40's again, though gray and windy and generally yucky. Is winter over yet? To say that it has been disheartening would be an understatement. But, when it is sunny, oh, how we all glory in it!!!! Changes in mood, outlook, energy, it is just amazing how much the sunshine can revive us all. And as I was reminded by a retired priest the other day - "you cannot appreciate the sunshine without the cloudy days". Oh, how profound that can be in many ways!

I have so been debating about sharing some things with all of you (whoever you really are!). You all know that we are working to adopt two brothers from Ethiopia, and that A has a medical condition that really needs to be treated here - better and actually quite easily by us. Each day it isn't, he runs the risk of permanent damage to his body and life. All the unknown. I try to take a deep breath and not let fear take over. At this point, all I can do is rush the paperwork to the places it needs to go, and that is what I am doing. The other part of it is that we of course have huge fees to pay. There was a significant reduction in fees due to the ages of the boys, and the medical condition, but there is still a huge amount of money needed. To meet that need, we are taking every minute of extra work that we can (praise God for wonderful provision and that opportunity to work overtime/extra), using eBay and Amazon, cutting our spending as much as we can, and just really looking at every penny we can. Add to that the rush to get things completed to get A to medical care - the catch to that is that the funds are needed as things get completed. Ugh, deep breath. Shake off all the negatives and fears. Whew. OK.

I really struggled with sharing with anyone the need. Our last adoption was so blessed by our church family, by friends and family, and by people we had never met. It was a group endeavor as three families worked to bring home seven children and keep them connected. Well, it was very public and very intense - and hard. Asking people to give, to help us pay for it, was so painful and humbling.

I resolved that I didn't want to ask anyone for help. That I would work my fanny off, that we would all do whatever we had to, that we would do it ourselves. And we are making it, slowly. I don't know if we can make it before our deadlines. I hate to think that things could be held up because we don't have the money on hand.

So, I am going to share what was sent to us by our adoption agency (Christian World Adoptions - wonderful, wonderful so far!). Please do not do anything other than read it, unless God very clearly moves you. Or share it with someone that you feel needs to read it.

If you have friends or family who wish to contribute to your adoption fund, there are a couple of ways to do it. One way is to go to our website, www.cwa.org, and find the link to Christian World Foundation. There they can donate online. When they do so, please tell the donors to choose the general fund and make sure that your name is noted on the donation form. They will receive an automated receipt for the donation. The receipt will not show your name, as it must be received into the general fund of the Foundation. The second way to donate is by check. Please tell the donor to make the check out to Christian World Foundation, noting your name on the memo line so that we can credit it to your adoption. They will receive a donation receipt via US mail, again without your name.

Even though, by law, these funds are received as open donations, a request is made by our Asst. Executive Director to the Board of Directors for any monies marked for client donations. There has never been a time that the board has refused a request for these funds, so please assure your donors that these funds will be marked for your adoption expenses.

If, at the end of your adoption, there are funds remaining after your expenses have been paid, these funds will be marked as an overpayment and sent to you. Often times we will send the overpayment to the family right before they travel so that they can use the funds to help with their travel expenses.

I hope this explanation is clear but if you have any questions please call me.



CHRISTIAN WORLD ADOPTION
Patricia Mendock
Finance Manager
828-693-7007 ext 317


If someone felt so moved, the funds are tax deductible! I don't think we ever know anything about any contributions as far as who or how much, so feel free to let me know if you want. Last time, so many people donated, and I never really knew who did, so I had a hard time being able to thank everyone. I hope seeing Solly and Zeri growing and thriving is a visible thanks and blessing to them each and every time they see them! This is what folks did!

Also, if you could pray with us - we are considering adopting a third child - there are several special children who need homes and are unlikely to get them. As I review files, watch videos and look at pictures, I know that any choice I make says "no" to a particular child. It breaks my heart. Every child deserves a home. Each one of these kids. But I also know that there are some things that I can do, some I cannot, and some that would be difficult with our family constellation. There is a little girl with epilepsy that is so on my heart along with another, but this child is so close in age to one of our daughters - the one who would really struggle with that, that it just doesn't seem wise. But what a dumb reason to deny this. And I start over with the circular reasoning. How do you choose? There are so many unknowns! I just want to see them all safe and happy. How can you look at a face and say "no"? Some choices are very clear - given our life, our rural living, our animals, etc. Some children would be unsafe here in general, though it might not be as bad as portrayed, or we may be able to find a way to work with it, yes, I am sure we could find a way to work it out, and there goes the circular reasoning again. I am very clearly looking at faces and choosing children. This is just so intensely "wrong feeling"! I cannot choose. I truly believe that God has chosen, but there are so many kids, so much need! How can one be left behind?

So, anyway, please pray for this decision, for God to speak so very clearly. I would settle for a neon sign somewhere! I think I already know the answer, but it means saying no to another. And that just tears up my heart.

So, if you know anyone who would be interested in adopting a little girl with epilepsy (on medication) who is 10-11 years old, please let me know! Also, check out this link: http://www.cwa.org/1hope/home.htm (okay, dear hubby is gone getting his bloodwork done for the adoption and I cannot recall the code to get it embedded, so please copy that link into your browser). This child will be on this page shortly, and there are several children who we have looked at who are on this site. I would so love to know that this little girl has a loving home!

Thanks and please comment! I love it!